The Life and Times of Skyler Bartels

Five-point Update

2010-07-28T20:20:00.000-07:00

1) Still working for IMMC - I love the job and I love the people. I don't necessarily love the hours, but I will do what I do until I can do it no more.

2) Being poor sucks: Right now I'm on a tight-as-Hell budget on account of me having to pay two-months worth of rent in one pay period, on top of a car loan... and utilities. I'm not making a killing - just enough to get by and live how I wanna live. Is that so wrong? Well, apparently I think so, because if I emptied my TV fund, I'd be fine in an instant. But I want that TV...

3) With LOST over, my mind wanders to other things... I've actually started reading again, and while I've found this to be extremely rewarding, I find fault with it because I know that, in the fall, when AMC debuts "The Walking Dead", I'll be right back where I started; in front of a television.

4) I don't write anymore, personally. This is something I'm aiming to rectify as we speak.

5) Music - still - is the soul. Never before have I had faith in any concept as strongly as I have in this one. ...and the fact that there is no such thing as choice. Which, of course, there isn't.

Just Googled myself. Here's an update in five sentences:

2010-02-03T13:11:00.000-08:00

1) I didn't move to L.A. because, in the end, it turned out that true love was not made of horrible parenting, lame-ass excuses, and abysmal failures.

2) I am, once again, living in Des Moines, working at Iowa Methodist, and - as always - I am made of awesome.

3) I have slowly started to "eat" music, and by this I mean I collect it, I listen to it all, and I don't care what it is, all in the hopes that I will gain a better understanding of music's doorway into the human soul.

4) I still obsess over the television show LOST, although not nearly as much in this final season as in years past.

5) If I could do any one thing right now, at this point in time, it would be to get on a bus and just go somewhere and not have to worry about things like money, family, love, humanity, or the lack of cake I'll likely only ever continue to encounter as I get older and older with each passing minute.

New Blog Post! New Blog Post!

2008-06-03T08:43:00.000-07:00

This summer I am in Iowa City, living with my older brother Pete. Pete is a Dr., so he can afford to take care of me. Also, he is a nice guy, so I think I can stomach to hang out with him a bit, I suppose.

I'm still being educated, currently, working on getting some stuff done so I can enter the technical writing field at the start of next year. Its an area I'm really interested in and think I would do well in, also. So, I've got that going for me. In the meantime, I'm working at a place called TMone this summer (those of you in Iowa with Facebook have probably seen the ads all over the place, I'd wager), saving up money to pay off a car, buy tickets to go to L.A. (more in a second), and buy food and gas and stuff and stuff.

In regards to L.A., my girlfriend, Aliona, moved back there at the tail end of May and, since the two of us are like "we're super duper cool and stuff" and we love each other, we're just gonna work through the distance thing. Because the other option is stupid and neither of us are interested in that, nope, not one bit. So I have to work and work and work and save and save and save until I can visit on occasion and eventually - as is the plan - move out there (I hope) near Feb. 2009. Which will make me 23-and-a-half years old, by the way. I'm an old man.

I'll be 23 on July 5th. That's scary. I always thought getting older would mean getting cooler. But I guess all it really means is that I can't ride down the stairs on a pillow anymore without getting hurt and all bruised up :(

More... as it happens, including:
-Evaluations of all of Pete's friends
-How I like my job (I'm going to try to get promoted in a couple of weeks, too!)
-What is in store for my immediate future
-A Dark Knight review (since that movie is going to be so awesome it makes little babies explode upon being birthed)

Have a good'n!

Leapin' for Leap Year

2008-02-29T21:32:00.000-08:00

Well, today was the 29th of Feb., an almost magical day where... nothing different happens.

I spent it like I spend most Fridays: bored at work, spinning around in an office chair, taking calls at fixing problems at ye olde Drake Computer Help Desk (which we're supposed to start called Drake Support Center, but I don't see why. We're supposed to do this to avoid possible confusion with people thinking we're a help anything desk, but if you toss the word "computer" in there, I don't think people will be confused. Support Center sounds like a place you call if you think your friend is going to take their own life or something). Andy and I (Andy being my awesome co-worker, the one that does most of the work) fixed many things, talked about a bunch of stuff, and then I left.

Then I took care of some business on phone lines, as I always do. Whenever people organize, they call me to be middle man. I don't understand why.

Then I took my super-duper awesome girlfriend, Aliona out to get foodstuffs and stuffs and it was great. I mean, we went to TGI Friday's which isn't really the "top of the pops" so to speak (although who would ever describe a place as the "top of the pops" as it is clearly an event that takes place on July 4th...), but it was good and I feel well fed.

Tomorrow starts another month, another 31 days of homework, and another eight posts I get to make for you crazy kids to read! So strap in and hold on tight because...

...well, I don't know why.

ANOTHER POST

2008-02-28T21:33:00.000-08:00

My Writers and Critics event went OK, I thought. My story ended up being more complex than I'd hoped it would be and, as a result, ended up being kinda like a rough draft instead of a finished story, but that's OK for the most part, I think, because now I have something I can work on a bit more in depth in the future.

Tim Bascom, the guy that people actually came to see, read from his book and it was also very good. His story is about his life growing up in Ethiopia, so I wrote about my travel experiences as a way to kinda work with his text, rather than against it. Which is what I would have done if I'd read anything else I've put together in the past six months.

Otherwise, everything else is going OK. I'm finally getting back on track with some stuff I've been letting slide and that's good, since we aren't at midterms yet, this means I can kinda pick up some slack (I hope!). Otherwise, not much else has been going on.

In other news, though, I have done this thing on Facebook which I think is awesome. Basically I've created a group that has only one purpose: To make fake albums.

The Facebook group's URL is as follows:
http://drake.facebook.com/group.php?gid=10182729001
All you have to do is follow the directions and stuff and you can make your own fake albums! Join up and make some junk! No one cares how quality your picture ends up being, either. We all just like to look at them!

Cheers!

I Forgot:

2008-02-22T11:28:00.000-08:00

-Help Deskin' @ 8AM
I apparently decided, in the past, that it was a good idea to volunteer to work a full day from 8AM-4:30PM. I found this out, again, way too late to really take care of it in a smart manner. So now I'm sitting here, exhausted out of my mind, and wishing I could go back in time and punch myself in the stomach for signing up for this, then making that version do the work of convincing a different self from even further in the past to not sign up for work and to stop using so many italics in the future. Obviously, based on the nearly obnoxious levels of italics found, this didn't happen.
But I'm getting out of work at 3:30, an hour early. Because I'm tired. As Hell.

-Writin' for a Readin'
I have been working on the thing I'm going to read for the Writer's and Critics event I'm guest reading at, but only in my head. I have nothing on paper, yet.
The worst part is, I'm limited to ten minutes of read time, and the thing I'm working on in my head is LONG AND HUGE and, well... this will only cause problems.

-Eatin'
Since I've gotten better - after my battle with bronchitis - I've found that my appetite has ever-so-slowly started to reemerge. But, because I'm already used to eating rarely and very little, I find myself starving all the time and never around foodstuffs.
Learning to remedy this is taking more time than it should.

-Blackboard
I just found out that most of the important stuff - like the assignments - for my Witchcraft class are posted on Blackboard and not on the class syllabus or announced in class. This is after a week of having figured I'd just missed the information every class and showing up unprepared in every possible fashion for two classes in a row.
Now that I know, I'm going to actually start doing readings for that class. Its amazing how knowing what the readings are can help you do the readings.

Should be Writing

2008-02-19T19:45:00.001-08:00

That Writer's and Critic's event that I'm doing a pre-reading at is in less than a week. Actually, I'll be done with it in exactly one week from right now. And I haven't even started really putting words to Word, yet. Which is bad. Really bad.

But the problem is, I don't usually feel compelled to write until the last minute. Or if there is no challenge I can see. And usually being "down-to-the-wire" is enough of a challenge for me to produce something. It works for every Writer's Night Drake has had that I've desired to go to. I've only once read something I'd produced way before. Otherwise, I'm usually late because I just finished whatever it is I am going to read and the printer ran out of paper halfway through printing it.

In this way, I'm a terrible writer.

Some people - I've found out - write ALL THE TIME and are constantly putting something together. Some idea in their head goes onto paper or into a Word document. That's not me. I only produce under extreme challenges or - in rare cases - when an idea is so grand I can't fit it in my head anymore.

A few of these examples include the script my older brother and I put together one week, this short story called 10 Up/Down, a recent story, Dust to Dust, and then a few other, random things. Like this book I wrote this one time. Yeah, it wasn't very good.

Otherwise, I can't finish anything. I started writing this book over the past summer, but I ran into what I call my "anti-muse" and have not been able to produce a single page really since. I put together a few scraps over Christmas break, but nothing worth - heh - "writing" home about. Aside from that, there are about half a billion "false starts" on my hard drive that will never ever get any farther than that.

And that's sad.

I came to realize over the past few years that I need to constantly create. But this just doesn't happen, anymore. I produce a crummy web comic twice a week, I write here in this blog, and I make stupid pictures and post them on Facebook. But otherwise... I'm not doing even a tenth of the creating I want to do.

I must learn to remedy this.

Please tell me how to remedy this.

Being a "Special Guest" (also: Some Yoga Stuff)

2008-02-17T20:49:00.001-08:00

So on the 26th the Writer's and Critic's series is having a special guest reader, Tim Bascom, come over from Simpson to read from his book and, as of late, the English dept. has been having guest readers give a reading of their materials before the main show. These secondary special guests have been English students. This time, for Tim, the secondary student guest is SKYLER BARTELS.

That's right. So come one, come all, and see your least favorite classmate, peer, friend, or whatever give a reading about London or something, I don't know. I've barely started writing the thing which - I am aware - is a bad thing. I should probably get on it pretty quickly, here. So I probably will.

Also, as I stated in an earlier post, I've started doing yoga stuff. I was asked by Aliona to go and I said "sure" for once and so I've been going. It's been kind of off-and-on since I had bronchitis and didn't really feel like going for, like, a week or so. But otherwise I'm learing new things about my body! Like... for example... the ways it won't move and the ways it will move. Turns out, there are far more ways it won't move than I'd previously figured. Huh.

Otherwise, I'm supposed to be typing up a paper tonight and I'm also supposed to be going to bed pretty quickly. But I'm doing neither of these things, it seems. Instead, here I am, blogging on this thing. Which I've done rather frequently as of late, even though I said I was probably going to quit.

I guess I just don't know how to quit you!

Oh, That Ice

2008-02-15T09:39:00.000-08:00

The first time I noticed the ice in my gut, it was when my younger brother came up the stairs to interrupt my video game playing to inform me that my sister, Sarah, may have passed away. A huge chunk of ice, sharp and cold and dense, grew within an instant. It was uncomfortable, it was weighty, and it was all things wrong.

This block of ice, chuck of ice... whatever, has invaded my gut time and time again. It always manages to vanish, always dissolves back into nothingness. But every one and again, it shows up like a bad habbit or an annoying mosquito when you're trying to sleep and its dark and you can't see it to swat and kill it, but its there. Oh, God in Heaven, is it ever there.

Sometimes I know why it shows up. Specific events have caused it to surface. Over the summer, some student loans people kept trying to talk to me and I figured it was something horrible, maybe that they weren't going to give me any more loans and I'd be out on my butt in the streets rather than out on my butt at Drake. But they wanted to update my address for shipping and letter purposes, nothing more. The ice was there, however, letting me know it was ready to make me wish I was dead.

Other times I don't know why the ice is there. It simply is. It shows up, most times, like this... and usually signals something huge or major that is going on, either behind the scenes - literally - or just in my subconcious. Something huge or major, but most definately bad.

Today I have that ice. And I'm trying to determine what it is there for, this time. If I can figure it out, I can usually get rid of it pretty quick like and move on with my life again. But sometimes I simply can't. Every once in a great while, I never solve it. And either the major or huge thing takes place and I feel completely blindsided, or nothing ever seems to happen and I just move on (but something probably did happen and I was just naive to notice it).

I hope its nothing. Maybe its always been nothing.

I don't know.

I don't want to grow up.

Bronchitis is _________

2008-02-12T17:31:00.000-08:00

(Hint: the answer is "Stinky")
_______________________

So, yeah, I figure you've got this gathered and what have you already, but I've been suffering from bronchitis for the past - nearly - week. Really started to hit pretty hard last Thursday where I was found wandering around almost aimlessly at the All-Majors career fair (which should have been called All-BUSINESS-Majors career fair...). My girlfriend tells me I looked dazed. Aliona also tells me I look way better today.

Which is good, because I feel way better, now, than I did a few days ago. Friday, when I went in to see a dr., I felt like death. Seriously. Like death. I just wanted to lie in bed and cry. But I didn't. Because I'm a man. I whimpered like a pro!

I had to miss some classes yesterday because I was still running a 102ish temp, but today I was right around average temperatures, so I went to classes and everything was fine (for the most part). Then I did some homework, made some stupid pictures with MSPaint, hung out with the girlfriend some (where she told me I looked way better), and then came back to do more homework!

Oh boy!

Nothing like getting over being sick to remind you of how much you hate homework.

Tomorrow: BUILD-A-BEAR THING!

PS: Also, I started doing Yoga. I'll fill you all in.

AMC

2008-02-04T11:03:00.000-08:00

When did AMC, a movie channel that is supposed to be dedicated to broadcasting American Movie Classics begins showing junk?Today I was flipping through and caught a shot of Lara Craft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life.

This is not a CLASSIC. This is a recent movie that did "OK" at the box office but in all truth failed to really bring about any change in people. Isn't that why we consider movies to be classic? I think of classics and I instantly think of Casablanca.

This is a movie that will always be remembered, throughout all of time. Love it or hate it, no one can deny that it is a classic in every sense of the word. It is a powerful and wonderful film that more people should see. This is the kind of movie that should be on AMC. Not Tomb Raider. What the hell?

In twenty years if people were asked to list movies they regarded as "classics" I can bet you more people will have Casablanca or Citizen Kane in their top 5-10. No one will have Tomb Raider on that list.

Tomb Raider isn't even so bad that it can be considered a classic in regards to its poor quality. Its a well made movie, for what its worth. Is there a great plot? No, but its OK. The effects any good? Sure. Acting? Passable. Concept and overall followthrough? Fine.

A movie like Snakes on a Plane will be considered a classic, I feel, but not because its a "great movie" or anything like that. Simply because of the cultural impact it had on a nation so devoted to it (mostly online). People knew it wasn't going to be a fantastic example of cinema art, but thats not why they went to see it. And thats not why it will be considered a classic. It was so bad that it was exactly what everyone expected it to be. And it never had any higher goals. It ended up right where it wanted to end up.

Tomb Raider is just worthless and a throw-away film. Really, the only moment I remember (aside from the split second I watched just a bit ago) is Lara Croft punching a shark in the face. As cool as it was, even when I saw it the first time (I think flying to China? London? I don't remember...) I thought it was stupid as hell.

AMC has been showing terrible movies in an attempt, I think, to boost ratings. But this is what happened to MTV and VH1 that made them so terrible. They needed to do other things than show music videos and, as such, ended up having stupid reality shows and game shows and now, for the most part, barely have anything to do with music and/or music videos.

AMC, stop doing what you're doing and show classics. Thats what you were born to do, and so few of us know what we're on this Earth to do. Use your gift for good.

Not for stupidity and ratings.

Thanksgiving Related Text

2007-11-21T22:01:00.000-08:00

So I'm home for Thanksgiving, playing a loaned-out Guitar Hero 3 with my younger brother, and looking at old family photographicals.

First off, the drive was OK. Zak (my younger brother) and I got out of Des Moines before it snowed and, although it did snow here a bit today (it has all melted, for the most part) before it snowed here, too. I hate snow. I hate most weather, though, so this is to be expected for the most part.

Second, while I said I wouldn't own Guitar Hero 3 while I was in school, that shouldn't stop me from borrowing it. So I did. I played Even Flow, which was awesome, but Cliffs of Dover on Expert is killing me. Like, literally. Killing me to death with its hardness.

Third, food. While our Thanksgiving dinner isn't until Saturday (on account of my lame old Dr. brother, Pete not getting home until Friday evening), I have eaten so much food that I am about to burst. String cheese, chocolates, brownies, chili, pumpkin rolls, crackers, cookies, more brownies, and more Dr Pepper than you can shake a stick at... Its the good life.

4th (still can't spell that), I finally saw Live Free or Die Hard and it was great and had lots of explosions and, if I could, I would trade my family for explosions. So... it was awesome.

5th, last night I looked at a bunch of old family photographs we have in photo albums and, you know what? I looked like a goon when I was a young lad, too.

I will return again shortly with another post. But I may be giving this up after the new year.... I'm just not very good at keeping up with it anymore...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

We're Living in a Computerless World...

2007-11-09T10:51:00.000-08:00

...and I am a computerless girl... what?

So, I have my computer working again. I got a processor fan in the post and replaced my old, janky one (it was making a lot of clicking noises and/or not spinning at all) and it runs smooth and silent and it works again. And its like a dream.

But for the three short days in which I had no computer and had to live in the library, here at Drake, I felt disconnected from the world.

In my first year at Drake I felt I had spent too much time on the Internet and not enough time on studies, so I removed my Ethernet cord and lived a disconnected life for a week. It was torture and I got less done because I simply played computer solitaire instead of reading and studying.

But, that's because I had a computer. While I wasn't connected to the world through the Internet, I could be connected to Midgar in Final Fantasy VII or my imagination through MSWord.

But those three days where I had no computer, I couldn't help the characters in the first Final Fantasy save their world, I couldn't talk to my girlfriend online until 2AM, I couldn't catch up on webcomics, I couldn't write homework or fiction, and I couldn't even browse through my folders.

Some people are big on cars, others on sports teams or just the sport itself. My computer is like an extension of my being, like another limb. Without it, I feel like I've lost an arm or a leg, and I stop functioning altogether.

I'm glad I have it back.

Stranded here on planet Earth

2007-11-05T08:12:00.000-08:00

".....its not much, but it could be worse."

My computer - which I built sophomore year, here at Drake - is non-operational. The processor fan is either burned out or burning out and so I can't really use it. I mean, it will run, but eventually the processor itself will die and the rest of the parts with it and... well...

Back in high school I helped - along with a few other students - build all the computers in the building. By the time I'd graduated, I'd probably put together more than three dozen computer towers. Way more than that. I knew how to do it and I was good at it.

But then I stopped doing it and then I got parts from my parents to put my own together and, well... There is a difference when you are putting a computer together for a school and putting a computer together for yourself. If you really mess up at school, the school will frown upon it, sure, but they need those computers and so they will buy another one. If you screw up with your own, well.... You have to hope you had warranties on the parts and you have to hope that you backed up your hard drive onto some other form of information holding device.

Regardless, I took a lot more care in the construction of my own computer, whose name is Amalgamar because he is combined from parts of about three computers, now. And anytime there is a flaw or a strange noise or something is slow... I always flash back to that evening in my dorm room in GK, first floor... Lying on the carpet in barely any clothes (static free environment!) and putting those things together, and wondering what I'd done wrong.

The answer is probably nothing. The fan could have simply run its course (I've basically had my computer on non-stop since I got it up and running, back in 2005) and I have already ordered a replacement part. So, everything will be back to normal.

But the worst part is I'm stuck, here, now. In the library on campus, cut off from the E-LEC-TRONIC world (no idea why I broke it up like that, don't ask). I struggle without a constant online presence.

It will be an interesting 3-7 days...

Prior Restraint

2007-10-31T15:09:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I got a phone call while at work at the Help Desk, here on campus. It was from my friend Aaron Jaco. What did he want? Well, he wanted to tell me about how he purchased a copy of Guitar Hero III and how he wanted me to drop by his place last night and join in on the fun and merriment.

So I did.

And it was awesome; The new tracks are difficult and a real chore to get through with decent scores. Once you get past the first few sets? Its like murder. Of course, we were playing for a bunch of hours in a row, so the fact that my hands stopped working around 10:30pm isn't say that much, considering they'd been strummin' for nearly four hours by that point.

We had wraps (turkey and cheese!) and Cheetos and I brought my own soda and we played and played and played some more, and I never got tired.

Until One by Metallica came on and glitched up a bit.

After trying to figure out why it was glitching on us so frequently failed to yield any positive results, Aaron and I darted over to the 24-Hour Wal-Mart (I drove, because Aaron had imbibed some choice alcohol) to attempt to make an exchange, but the customer service desk closed around 11pm so there was nothing that could be done. We had to call it a night.

Which was cool, because I can't imagine how tired I would be today if I had been up another few hours. Real tired. Yeah, I think that's how tired I would be. Real tired. Uh huh.

I consider it a sign from on high, though, that I had to quit that game last night. I had played enough, or so the fates decided (I don't believe in fate, by the way. I also don't believe in choice. Yeah. It is confusing, I know) that it was time for me to drop it. And then I played a few more songs and the fates were like "OK, time to shut this sucker down." And thus...

Aaron is inviting me to rejoin our powerhouse duo this evening, post night-class, for some more rollicking good times... but not only am I real tired, but I also don't want to jinx it anymore than I already have. Maybe this weekend sometime, or Thursday night perhaps. But not when I have classes in the AM on Thursday.

So... while I indulged somewhat, I'm still going to show all the correct forms of restraint I placed upon myself. I really, really want to buy that game. But I know better. I don't want it. Not in my dorm room. Not yet, anyhow.

Hope everyone had a great October, and I'll post tomorrow and next month? Yeah, I'm going to be better at posting than I am now (I think I say this at the end of every month, but... yeah). So, yeah. Check for that.

AIGHT!

Restraint

2007-10-29T21:46:00.000-07:00

Guitar Hero 3 just came. I didn't really pay attention to the tracks that would be on it because I wanted to be surprised when I put the game in my Playstation and booted up the playlist. But today I found out that Cliffs of Dover, by the one and only Eric Johnson, is on it and... Well... It made me want to go out and buy it right away.

But I won't.

Turns out I blame most of my semester-long apathy toward school on Guitar Hero 2 and the countless hours I played that stupid game to death. I wasted so much time doing that instead of studying or participating in social activity (unless there was Guitar Hero involved. Then, of course, I was there). Why? Why would I do this?

It was easy? That's a solid answer. It was easy. In the same way playing World of Warcraft during every waking hour was easy. WAY easier than going to class or doing homework or talking to people in real life. Leveling up or beating songs was instant gratification. I longed for it. I always will. I shy away from real challenges most of the time because I don't like to risk failure or defeat or - heaven forbid! - embarrassment.

But grades are kinda like instant gratification. I was instantly aware of NOT getting good grades, so I'm pretty sure that I would be aware of getting them, instead.

Another answer could be that I was just not interested in school. High levels of apathy and what not.

Bottom line, though... Guitar Hero 3 would be a terrible idea. I wouldn't do anything. I'd just sit around and play that. And I need to graduate instead of.... not.... graduate. So, yeah. Guitar Hero 3 for Christmas baby, oh yeah 2007 live!

Hope all is well out there in where ever you are. Dorm rooms or houses in Arkansas. Schools places. I don't know. I'm still kinda sick and I am tired and going to sleep.

October Should be OctOVER

2007-10-28T12:03:00.000-07:00

This has been a long month.

Yesterday my friend Aaron and I went to Iowa City to collect a bass guitar from my older brother, Pete, who is a Dr. in those parts. World famous, too. Well, not really. But it is fun to pretend.

We went to the new Saw film and it was OK. I'm not a huge fan of the series, but the last two (3 and 4) have taken the series in a different direction and really change the flow of the entire franchise, in my opinion. If you're a fan of them, there's no reason to not see the new one.

Then we (we being Aaron and I) went out to a pre-Halloween party at Tim Schmitt's place, Tim being this awesome guy that I technically work for here at this blogging thing I'm doing. His band played and sounded pretty-OK but it was the first time I'd heard them, so I have nothing to compare it to.

I got this album the other day, Journey's greatest hits album, just for one track: Separate Ways (Worlds Apart) and it is great. Great band. Yeah... yeah...

Then we (we being Aaron and I) went to TKE's Halloween party, Washing Machine. Good place to get drunk if you're into that kind of thing. We didn't wear costumes or anything and...

...the whole point of this post is I'm sick. I have this terrible cold and its making me all crazy and I can't imagine life being any more cruel to me. I want October to end but I don't want November to start.

I'm scared of December.

I'll explain later.

Road Trips

2007-10-22T07:59:00.001-07:00

I have seen quite a bit of road in the past week, and will continue to see some more.

I don't typically consider going home to be a "road trip" but it does take nearly five hours and that's a lot of time on the road, so I'll start with Fall Break.
A good chunk of break was spent in Des Moines, all of Saturday being spent touring downtown a bit with my girlfriend. Otherwise, it was to home and to meatloaf for Skyler. And lord on high was there meatloaf! Oh boy, it was great.

Then this past weekend my younger brother and I got up on Saturday and drove to Peoria and Pekin, Illinois to see the legendary comedian Emo Philips. It was another five-ish hour drive and we listened to some great music and had good conversation and everything was pretty much awesome. We stayed overnight with my aunt and uncle in Peoria and that was cool, too. The comedy was fantastic! I recommend checking some of Emo's stuff out on Youtube if you get the chance, otherwise here is a joke I loved from his show:
"I don't like it when people insult Bush's intelligence, because he's pretty crafty. He got that bill passed to make cloning illegal, so now we can never find out how many of him it would take to screw in a lightbulb."

Classic.

Otherwise, on Wednesday, my good friend Aaron and I are going to Kansas City to see Porcupine Tree play live and... rest assured... that will be probably the coolest thing that has ever happened to me in regards to Kansas City. Oh yeah.

Otherwise, after that I'm hoping to get some rest from driving. Too much excitement in cars the past few weeks and maybe, after we get back on Thursday, all of us - the people and the cars - can get some much needed rest (never gonna happen).

The Best Days of my Half-Life

2007-10-15T19:22:00.000-07:00

In... 1998-9ish... I don't remember, my friend Steven Samson introduced me to a video game called Half-Life. It was the first REAL PC game I'd ever purchased and the kickstart to my gaming life. I'd bought it for our first computer capable of running "high-spec" games, the family's old Dell desktop. I played the ever living hell out of that game.

I loved that game. I loved the two expansions. And I loved Gordon Freeman.

Then I had to wait. Forever. For Half-Life 2.

I remember not knowing what was going to happen, forever. It would be years before something did happen. But I remember clearly seeing the image of a crowbar making a shadow on the ground, a clear representation of the number 2. It was my junior year of high school. And I was in love all again.

HL2 was a waiting game for me. It was coming out, so they said, on September 30th, 2003. I had no money. So, I had to get a job that summer and earn the money to buy a computer that would run the game. And I got that job and I got that money and I got that computer. And then September 30th, 2003 came and went. And there was no Half-Life 2.

Nearly a year later and I was walking out of a Best Buy here in Des Moines with my copy of Half-Life 2 (which was on store shelves even though it wasn't supposed to be out for a couple more days) and then I did the unthinkable.

I'd waited for games before. Metroid Prime on the Nintendo Gamecube was a chore to wait for. But I managed. Warcraft III was also a long wait. But I got those games and I played and beat them in standard amounts of time. Half-LIfe 2 would be different.

Having the game installed before I could play it (you had to wait and activate the game through the internet. It was a painful process that the game company still makes its customers do for its new games) meant I could do all my homework in advance. It also meant I could stockpile food and drinks. It also meant I wasn't leaving my room for any reason at all.

And so, under my lofted bed, with my blanket covering my gaming space, my cream soda ready to fuel my way through the game (I'd started drinking cream soda to play games around the time I got Final Fantasy IX)... I played Half-Life 2 in one long, two-day sitting.

It was glorious. And then it was done.

A few years later and an expansion came out and it was awesome. And then the new expansion just came out, now. And they have been great (he who says video games aren't art is an idiot). But not the same, just as the expansions to the original weren't the same.

There is one final expansion that will come out, most likely, near this time next year. And I'll play it and beat it and love it. And then I'll wait for four-five years for Half-Life 3.

I don't know what any of this means, however. I'm just sharing that I'm a huge nerd.

POST PENDING

2007-10-13T23:39:00.001-07:00

I'm going to have a massive and huge post here tomorrow about something.

And then the next day about something else.

I'd do it now, but I'm tired and this way I will have to make these posts here on time.

Because otherwise I'll look like a liar.

No Stalgia

2007-10-07T00:03:00.000-07:00

I'm dealing with the fact that I'm nostalgic for so many thing, these days. I... I'm finding out so much right now that I want to go back in time and either redo or relive so many different times and experiences. Many people wish this, but most of the time it is understood that people want to go back in time and relive things with what they know now, so they can change things or alter the course of their history.

I just want to relive them the way I did.

I'm finding things from my first year here at Drake. I'm thinking about things I did in the summer between educational aspects of my life. I'm remembering events from high school. I'm viewing things from my childhood.

I was in a car with two of my friends talking about the old Nintendo game, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out! and wishing I was playing it. Why? I would get bored with it in a few seconds, or I would beat my old records to a pulp. Chances are good that one or the other would happen. But I want to cling to the past so much anymore that the present merely seems to be a blur of the now mixed with desires for the then.

I'm watching these old Sonic the Hedgehog cartoons on DVD, borrowed from one of the friends mentioned above. These used to run on ABC on Saturday mornings and were darker in themes and tone and content. There was talk of people dying and things were not ever so great for the characters.

I remember watching that show, watching it every morning. I remember a "thrilling" two-part episode where the characters went back in time and how I'd taped the first one and watched it with my father and then had to wait to see the second half with him because he was excited for it as well (although, looking back, it could have merely been because he just wanted to spend the time with me, not so much for the story... but as a child, it was great knowing he was as invested as I was). Then I remember the final episode and how much of a cliffhanger it was and how much more I wanted.

Then I remember waiting and waiting for the new episodes. Eventually, the waiting became growing up, and the show was gone.

Watching these DVDs, though, I'm sensing small parts of myself and my love for these characters. Sure, now the animation is pretty crummy and the writing is lackluster ("How fast were we going, Sonic?" "We were rootin' and scootin!" "Really? Rootin' and scootin'?") but the themes are still there. The sense of urgency and survival paired with mild frivolity. I miss that.

I never know what I want. I never know whats going on (anymore). All I really know is that some days... being in the present only makes me yearn for the past.

Yeah.

5 of 5 of 5

2007-09-30T16:49:00.000-07:00

So here we are, at the finale to this little event, eh? What do I have left to say to you? I've given you movies and books and video games and songs. What could be left?!

5 Random Things About My Month

1) Eastern Promises
I saw this movie and it was made by the same team that made A History of Violence, which also featured Viggo Mortensen playing some guy that could kill a room full of men with his bare hands. This one was about a Russian mob, however, and since I had a Russian present with me, I learned way more about things in that movie than I figure they wanted to share with me in the movie.

It is violent and it is awesome. Acting is solid and the ending is so unfulfilling you will feel cheated at first, but then, later, you'll be excited about it.

2) Openings to the Simpsons
The new season of the Simpsons is pretty good, but the new openings are amazing. The first one was an epilogue like thing based on the aftermath of the recent movie. Tonight's was an evolution of Homer from single-celled organism all the way to now. It took about three minutes and was hilarious the entire time.

The highlight, though, was when Homer was a caveman and ran into caveman Moe, who then evolved back down into a rat for no reason. Fantastic! These are funnier than the episodes, themselves.

3) New Hooverphonic
The band has a new album coming out in the second week of October. And they have the full album up to listen to on the main website. And it has no buffer time. And its all good music. And I love Hooverphonic.

4)Anti-Puns
Puns are great. But what I like better is to have a group of people taking part in a pun fest, in which everyone makes puns on the same word. And then... here's an example, based on the not-actual death of the main character in the Disney film, Cars:
Me: He died of car-ncer
Someone else: He inhaled too many car-cinogens
Me: He died in a CAR accident!

Yeah, its better in person.

5) Watchin' LOST
My friend Daryl and I are running through the show LOST on D V D and its awesome.

.....
That's it. 5 posts about random things to end out the month.

See you guys next month! Tomorrow!

4 of 5 of 5

2007-09-29T12:37:00.000-07:00

Well... I am sorry I didn't post like I was supposed to. My week got crazy-go-crazy.

Today, I'm going to simply keep on going as if nothing happened, though. So...

5 Bands You Should Listen To And Love

1) Hooverphonic:
http://www.hooverphonic.com/
Hooverphonic is a trio from Belgium that plays a very different kind of music. Its not really "pop" but more... "awesome."

The main site's front page currently features three tracks off their upcoming album, The President of the LSD Golf Club. It's a drastic shift from their previous sound, moving into an almost 60s-esque psychedelia-inspired sound. I don't care, however, because - as always - they can do no wrong.

The first single off the album, Expedition Impossible can be viewed on YouTube here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNOZa_VcDeI
And I recommend it. Otherwise, here's two other links to two other great tracks from Hooverphonic.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVsqRM-LBP8 -The World is Mine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_8BfVJFL6g - Day After Day (Live)

Otherwise, if you like what you hear I recommend starting with The Magnificent Tree as an album, otherwise some tracks I'd suggest for download are:
-Green
-Mad About You
-Out of Sight
-Battersea

2) Porcupine Tree
http://myspace.com/porcupinetree
The band is awesome. Check the track "Blackest Eyes" for a wonderful example. Then listen to Trains. Then buy a bunch of their albums.
This video, Piano Lessons, isn't the best song they've ever done, but its a good starter track to listen to if you're a YouTube fan:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CvxoeasJ2E -Piano Lessons

Give 'em a try. DO IT.

3) Minibosses
http://myspace.com/minibossess
The Minibosses play video game music, but they do it with enough flair that you won't.... (God, here it comes...) ....care.

Here is a video of them playing the Contra theme live.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsNngmdPiCI -Contra (live)

If you're a nerd and played any NES back in the day... you'll understand why this is awesome.

ADDED BONUS!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDXLmNLMGuw -SUPER MARIO BROS. 2 (ignore the guy in the blue shirt...)

4) VAST
http://myspace.com/vast
I saw VAST live awhile back, if you remember (or even read this at all) ... gosh I'm hungry right now... anyhow. Its really one guy named Jon Crosby and he's awesome.

He's so obscure that there's really no "music videos" so I'll just suggest downloading the following:
-A Better Place
-Turqoise
-Here
-Lost

5) Hooverphonic (again)
http://myspace.com/hooverphonic
I love this band. I will never stop pushing them.

.........
Sorry for the really lame post this time. I'm tired and hungry and having a really good weekend.

That is all (tune in tomorrow for 5 of 5 of 5 and the end of the month!)

3 of 5 of 5

2007-09-26T22:51:00.000-07:00

Keep this sucker goin', eh? This time I'll do video games. Keeping in mind that some of these aren't going to be huge titles that you'll have heard from, rest assured I play enough Half-Lifes and Final Fantasy games. I just figured I'd try to tell you about some games you maybe haven't heard of. So:

5 Video Games You Should Probably Own

1) Parasite Eve

Squaresoft (before they became SquareEnix) put out this game, which was supposed to be the "cinematic RPG" and... well, it was. It featured plenty of CG and a film-like plot that made it feel like a big-budget science fiction/horror film, which rocked.

Dealing with enough medical mumbo-jumbo to make people's heads hurt, PE's plot involved mitochondria, tiny organisms that live inside each and every one of the cells in our body. And they're under the power of an evil woman.

It mixed RPG elements with horror scenes much akin to the Resident Evil series. Also, as you can see in the video below... mutated rats and creepy women! Speaking of that video, its the intro to the game and I used to watch it over-and-over when I first got this game... Yeah, I had no semblance of a sane childhood.

(sorry, video ain't workin' right. here's the link: http://youtube.com/watch?v=M-Tcl6qvfy4)

People on fire, people melting, explosions, and giant freaky baby monsters with wings. Its a sure-fire winner.

2) Beyond Good & Evil

This is not a game about Nietzsche philosophy. Instead, its a game about a girl with a big stick and a camera.

Dealing with propaganda, journalism, and... well, aliens, BG&E is a very underrated Zelda-esque adventure game with enough heart and plot to win awards. Of course, no one played it and it died quickly and silently... but! It has a space whale! A SPACE WHALE!

Its short but sweet. And has really good animation. I'd give it a shot. You can get it for real cheap.

3) Silent Hill 2

This is one that maybe you've heard of, if not simply because there was a Silent Hill film a few years back that you may have seen.

This game will scare the poo out of you, no doubt. It is all about atmosphere and ambiance. Sound effects such as metal clangs and radio static will never be the same after you play this frightening and psychologically terrifying game.

Its long, its dark, and its got Pyramid Heads. You'll know what I mean when you see them (or if you saw the movie... Yes, THOSE things!)

Without a doubt, this is the scariest story told in film or video game format that I've ever experienced. ...'cept for maybe 28 Weeks Later, but that was less 'scary' and more 'really bad.'

4) Shadow of the Colossus

Basically you go around and fight things that are THIS BIG:

5) Xenosaga series

There are three games in this series, each one more crazy than the last. Its an RPG about space-faring humans trying to solve the riddles of the universe. And also about strange lesbian relationships between an android woman and her designer. And life and death. But mostly about the lesbianism.

Deep rooted in philosophy (enough to make up for Beyond Good & Evil's distinct lack of it), psychology, science fiction, and... well... Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalen... these games are beautifully organized and fun to play, so long as you've got money for all three and don't mind some serious religious overtones from time to time.

.........
Two more days of this then I'm done. WOO-HOO!
See you tomorrow!

2 of 5 of 5

2007-09-25T19:33:00.000-07:00

To continue the trend (why I can't I be this productive when its not 'down to the wire'?) I have selected five books to talk at you about. I will also tell you that you should buy them all based on the covers I will provide you with. Get your debit cards ready (and hold on to them, for the love of God. I've either lost or destroyed enough of my own in the past month to know to KEEP. AN. EYE. ON. THEM.), and here we go:

5 Books You Should Buy and Read Because I Said So

1) "The Time Traveler's Wife"

Audrey Niffenegger

This is a romance story. I'm ok sharing this with you. This is because this is a lovely tale of love lost to time (literally). The author weaves an elaborate tale of multiple versions of the main two characters (the lovers) as the male lead goes back and forth through time. It kind of sounds confusing, but let me break it down.

The male lead, Henry, can't control when he'll go back or where he'll go back to, just that it will connect, somehow, to his wife Clare's past. He will never go in any kind of chronological order and will only ever be confused as he tries to piece his own past with his wife together.

It is split up with time stamps so you know when in the timeline of the story it is taking place, and lets you know from whose perspective you are reading at all times. It is fascinating and fun to read this, because you are thrown about time nonstop yet have markers to help you find your place in the characters' history. The only downside is it takes a long while to get through. But you won't care.

There are few books about time travel and love that make me cry at the conclusion, but this one did. The ending had everything it needed and just a bit more. Read it because you like time travel. You know you do.

2) "Syrup"

Max(x) Barry

If I was going to die and I had to take one work of "slick fiction" with me to Hell... It would be Syrup. This book alone got me interested in writing, marketing, and being awesome. It is also a back stab story and has tons of cool word choice, and the way the book is split up into mini-sections within chapters (which makes it feel like you're reading real fast), so you know I'd love it.

The story is about Scat and 6 (yes, a woman named 6. Read to find out!) trying to sell ads (and more!) to Coca Cola. Yes, this book is also why I selected to be a Coke fan over a Pepsi fan.

Despite what Rachel Samson thinks (you'll never really know who that is, so don't pay attention to it), Max Barry is a brilliant writer and his wit is sharp. Pick this up if you like comedy. Or books. Or things that are good.

3) "Shadows of the Empire"

Steve Perry

Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire is the rare example of a multi-medium media onslaught in the market of the same exact story. This was a book, a video game, an action figure line, and a graphic novel all at the same time. It was brilliantly done, and for once, all the parts were pretty cool as stand-alone entries into the Star Wars saga.

This book takes place between Empire and Jedi and has Dash Rendar to take the place of a frozen Han Solo. It features some other new characters and mentions Boba Fett at least twice, so it passes my standards test.

Its a quick read, as well, and worthy of a place among Star Wars fiction (haha! The thought of that just killed me... "Star Wars fiction"...).

4) "The Looking Glass Wars"

Frank Beddor

I read an article about a comic book featuring a character named Hatter M on ign. com one day and the concept of a reimagined take on Alice in Wonderland sounded so great I picked up the first issue of the comic. Turns out, the character was based on a book that dealt with the same topic, but was only released in the UK. So I ordered it. And read it. And loved it.

As stated, the book series (yes, series. The new one just came out!) takes place in Wonderland but is far more dark and sinister than the Disney version. Or the original version, actually. Its graphic, steam-punkish, and brutal. And sometimes, just plain mean.

Also, there's the character of Hatter Madigan, or "The Mad Hatter" who follows a lost Alyss to Earth to find, protect, and bring her home. He's got a hat that turns into knives, knives in his coat, knives in his wrists, knives on his belt, in his backpack, probably has knives for eyes. Who knows. He's awesome, so that's all you need to.

5) "Apathy (And Other Small Victories)"
Paul Neilan

You will hate yourself for laughing at this book. The main character should simply be described by the word "apathetic" in the dictionary from now on.

Entire pages of this book are quotable. The characters are stupid and funny and unsympathetic. You will wonder why you're reading the book after you get halfway through because you will realize there is nothing to gain from this book, aside from an ache in your stomach from laughing too much.

Of all the books I've listed, this is the only one that has the word "Apathy" in the title. So... I don't know... What I'm trying to say... Read these books! That's what!

.......
I'll be back again, tomorrow!

1 of 5 of 5

2007-09-24T20:17:00.000-07:00

So, in order to meet the required number of posts this month (hey, I had a real slow month. What can I do?) I've decided to make a post every day this week that will give a short review/rundown of five things in five different categories that I really enjoy that you probably don't but should. So, today, to make it simple, I'll start with movies (why not, huh?).

So, without further ado:
5 Movies That You Should Love Because I Said So

1) The Fifth Element:

Luc Besson, who always writes the same movies time-after-time (for examples, check out The Professional and then watch his latest film, Unleashed, both of which star incredible killing machines who end up finding out life is about 'so much more'), did this movie called The Fifth Element to show people what life would be like in a future that was so awesome it hurt.

Visually this movie is stunning. You can't lose. Colorful hair, clothes, architecture, aliens, transportation, locations, geography.... You can go on and on. There are few scenes as iconic as the shot of Leeloo jumping off that building and falling into traffic in recent movie history.

The story is simple, the characters are archetypal, and the script is tight. But there is something about the entire structure of the film that is so perfect that, well... it really can't be described. Trust me. Watch the film. From the elaborate and fantastical reconstruction of Leeloo's physical body to the shot of Bruce Willis getting cold-cocked with a trophy to the robot bartender... You can't fail.

2) Mulholland Drive:

I can't talk about this movie. Not because I don't want to ruin it, but because I can't. So rarely is there a movie so confusing... so astoundingly complex and needlessly so... that I not only find I can stand to watch it more than once, but that I end up owning, loving, and watching as many times as I can find people who haven't seen it.

What starts out as an amnesia movie about two women in Hollywood ends up as so much more (in more ways than one) and has some great moments of humor, musical use, and human clarity that you will think it can't possibly be contained within one movie. But David Lynch did it. I don't know how.
Come for the lesbians, stay for the lesbians. And... the complicated and fun deconstruction and rebuilding of the movie you will find yourself forced to do at the film's conclusion. Forced by yourself.

3) The Lost Skeleton of Cadavera:

So you get tired of all the big budget horror movies that are out there and you want to stay in and watch something a little more 'in depth' with the human side of horror. Well, forget that rubbish and check this movie, instead. Its about martians, scientists, evil scientists, living skeletons, mutants, and women made of five different forest animals.

Its not a serious movie and will do its best to show you that its not serious. But you will not want to stop watching it because it is that stupid and silly. For an example, take the following line spoken by one of the film's main antagonists:
"I've always been hated by skeletons, even as a child!"

Yeah.

4) Disclosure:

He who says Demi Moore isn't hot back in her prime is a liar. And this movie is great because not only is she hot, but she is also SUPER-hot for a majority of the film.

I love revenge and back stab movies, and this one is one of my all time favorites. Michael Douglas and Demi Moore go round and round (in more ways than one) in a corporate thriller that has everything the doctor ordered. So long as the doctor ordered copious amounts of intolerable subterfuge!!!!!!

Sexy, sleek, and dynamic, this movie has one weak moment of cybernetic tomfoolery that is mostly worthless but nevertheless furthers the plot. But at the end, when one of the main characters emerges the clear winner over the other... you will be so happy when you find yourself cheering that, well... You won't care if you are wearing your pants on your head the entire time (spoken from experience that will not be detailed in any way/shape/form).

5) The World's Fastest Indian:

I love movies about guys going for their dream. And Anthon... SIR Anthony Hopkins does just that, playing an old guy that just wants to run his motor bike on a speed run to go for the world land speed record.

Full of trials and more trials, this movie shows the power of a dream in ways that make me sad I haven't gotten enough experience to really fulfill any of my own. This movie doesn't really need any further explanation. Its just that good.

........
And with that, I'm done. Check in tomorrow when I'll do the same for books or video games or TV shows or something. I don't know. I haven't decided, yet.

Drake is Home

2007-09-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

I love here.

I would simply leave that as my only sentence but I feel I should explain myself.

I'm not going to really explain myself, though. I'm just gonna talk about school and life and stuff.

First off; This week has been tiring to the utmost degree. I haven't slept properly since last Friday night and have had early mornings every day. Today I had an 8AM shift at the Help Desk but - whoops! - I didn't really have an 8AM shift so I woke up for nothing and am REALLY tired today. So tired...

Second off; I am off comic books for the most part. I read a fair number, still. But its gotta be like... half the number of what I used to read at the end of the year last year. This saves me a lot of money and a lot of trips to comic stores. But right now there's this thing where Thor and Iron Man get in a scrap and Thor.... well, I don't want to give away spoilers. Or paint myself to be a huge nerd (or a larger one than I'm already painted to look like). But it's awesome.

Third off; I just saw this movie tonight in class called Good Night and Good Luck and it was really awesome. Its a journalism class that I'm taking because... well... why not? And I'm loving that class. The assignments are great, we watch the films in class, and they are all good films. Its currently my favorite class.

4th off (I can't spell that); I'm really tired and have some homework to do tonight. So, I'm going to get to it.

Drake is awesome, right now. I love it here and can only imagine what I'd be doing now if I wasn't here.
(No, Drake is not paying me to say this)

2 Weeks Down... A Billion Remain...

2007-09-09T21:31:00.000-07:00

Oh man... I am tired.

So, we're done with two weeks of school already. How many are there in a semester? Like, 15? So... 15-2= ............. Don't tell me.... hold on.... 1. I have one week left of school?!? Oh my God what will I do! I haven't done anythi... Oh, no I have 13 weeks left... God I'm dumb sometimes.

Classes are great; I'm, again, doing the 18 credit semester and while it is tiring, it is thrilling and wonderful. I don't have one class I hate being in (although its only two weeks in... give me some time) and the course materials and the work loads seem fair so far. The only one I think might be a nightmare is going to be my Monday night class... But it's getting me in to watch some LOST with an FYS so.... you can't lose with that kind of setup.

Work at the Help Desk has been slow. It's mostly my fault for having failed to get up one day during the first week and then having my hours given away. Now I work a majority of my week on Fridays which, while not terrible - since it starts at noon - is still a pain because that's a long time to sit there and fix the same problems over-and-over.

The DLS (Drake Lit Society, or L!T as it was cleverly dubbed) is off to a good start, too. We had our first meeting with an all-girl assembly (plus me...) but it was pretty awesome and actually moved along at a nice clip and stayed on topic most of the time (swaying once or twice into Harry Potter conversation which doesn't belong in ANY literary society because its not literature... its garbage. That is my opinion and the opinion of Drake University [note: not really the opinion of Drake University]).

Dating is awesome.

Otherwise, all I can say at this point is "GO SEE 3:10 TO YUMA BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME" and now I'm going to bed because I'm really tired.

See you on Wednesday when I make another post!
-Skyler

"Homework?!"

2007-09-03T14:54:00.001-07:00

In Kingdom Hearts 2, right near the start of the game, a group of kids asks the hero, Sora, if he's done with his summer homework. Sora is seriously taken aback and stammers: "Homework?!"

This is how I feel.

I spent this entire weekend reading, writing, putting together the starts of presentations and papers, and then reading some more, posting on ye olde blackboard about a number of things, etc etc.

Someone invented homework for a reason. I'm trying to think if they did it because they knew people like me would hate it or not. If they did, and they wanted me to hate it, kudos. If they did, and they knew people like me would hate it but reluctantly pressed on... well, kudos again.

And let me be honest with you, here. I don't hate-hate homework. I mean, keeping up-to-date on the readings for classes is an important part of the school process. I just don't like that it takes time.

So, now I'm going to try to build a device similar to the things they use in the Matrix to learn kung-fu and all that. I'm going to jack a giant metal spike into my brain and then hook that device to these terrible books I have to read for Adolescent Lit (a great class, take it if you can) and have them downloaded into my head, rather than doing it manually.

...but I will need test subjects to run the device on a few times, first. No way I'm sticking a metal spike in my brain without testing it, first! I'm not making that mistake twice!

Any volunteers?

So it Begins...

2007-08-31T21:02:00.000-07:00

What can be said?

Classes are... a pain. Because of my prior idiocy, I have been forced to take a grand number of courses, half of which are night classes. For the most part they seem like they will be fine and that I will function while taking them, and I'll be able to complete them in a fashion fitting of someone of my intellect (not gloating if its the truth!). But it will be... a challenge.

In other news, the Activities Fair went off very well. I was under the impression that the lit group would only generate about 10 interested people, but we ended up with... 44 I think. It was fun and our table looked incredible and... there was a picture taken of it but I don't have it.

I never have pictures for you guys. I'm lame.

This weekend I have a lot of 'work' to do. Most of it involves reading and then a little bit of it involves non-reading activities. I'm excited to "get to it" but at the same time worried that I'll just grow lazy in two weeks time and then where will I be?

But, the upside is this semester I don't have a brother living with me writing a script for two weeks, keeping me from class, homework, friends, the outdoors, real food, showers, etc. So I should be doing better.

In last bit news, I finally purchased the first two volumes of "Flight", a graphic novel series of short comics that deal with the titular theme of flight. It is done by a bunch of different comic artists all over the world and none of the stories are directly connected. Some are funny, some are kinda lame... but this one in volume 2 about a robot and a bird actually made me tear up at the end. So they are aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalright. I wanted to pick those up a long time ago, but collected the "Universe X" series instead.

I wish I could go back in time...

The End of Summer

2007-08-26T23:22:00.000-07:00

And so... We come to the end of another fine summer.

First off, I got over my depression. It was a day-long thing that required copious amounts of Frasier DVDs and ice cream to solve, but I got over it rather quickly.

For my final day of summer, however, I spent a good chunk of time seeing people I needed to see again. First off, my folks were around, moving my younger brother into his new single dorm at Simpson in Indianola (yes, all the Bartels boys are now in Iowa. Me in Des Moines, my younger sib, Zak in Indianola, and my brother, Dr. Pete Bartels is in Iowa City), so I helped them move him in and I also was able to collect my shower shoes, which I'd been going without this past week.

Then I encountered an old friend, Mr. Justin and a friend of mine from high school, Rachel Samson and we all attended a Weird Al concert here in Des Moines, at the Hoyt Sherman Place. It was a ritzy place and really nice. It was a great show, too.

Mr. Justin and I played some Guitar Hero before I gave him the boot, now I'm sitting here contemplating my many upcoming "tomorrows". (does the period go inside the quotation marks? I never learned... I'm a terrible Writing Major student...)

I don't have work tomorrow or classes until 2PM. Which was unplanned. Otherwise, I have a meeting to go to at about 3:30 in the Student Life Center for the on-campus organizations and then I will audition for the plays this year (for once!) before my night class.

Then I don't know what's going on. Although, to be fair.... I never do know what's going on.

This past summer was a terrible and long blast of awesomness. I worked and that was stupid, but I got to go swimming and that was great; I had to take an Accounting class and I hated that, but I got to know a really cool girl so that was something I didn't hate; I mowed a lot of yards and that was hot, but I got to see Transformers twice and that was SUPER-hot; I got to do a lot of annoying Facebook notes and they were super-dumb, but I also had fun doing those notes so that was... well, also pretty super-dumb.

Regardless, I'd give the summer a 5/10, an improvement over the past two college-summers I've had. So, best summer in a long while.

Now to make this the best semester in a long while.

D-Pressed

2007-08-24T10:39:00.000-07:00

After having only been back a total of two and a half days, I have hit a nasty depression.

I am fully aware of why it happened; yesterday saw fit to bring me roadblocks of many kinds. It was raining all day, I was tired all day, events led me to have no money, I had to cancel the only thing I was looking forward to all day, and then I ended the day questioning my own moral beliefs until I finally went to sleep at about 5AM.

Now I'm sitting here in my dark, silent room... the only sound coming from the low hum of the air conditioner and the clack-clack-clack of this keyboard as I type. I can't even be depressed properly because I don't have any ice cream and I have no money with which to purchase any ice cream.

The worst part about being depressed for me (and maybe for others, too) is that even though you've already got a mountain of things bothering you and eating away at your mind, every little thing from your past and every little thing from your future start to crawl out of the depths of your mind and pile on top of that mountain.

Now I'm worrying about everything at once and I really don't know how to resolve anything.

So, at the current juncture, I'm simply sitting in my dorm room in GK wishing I was back home where at least I wouldn't have to worry about so many things. Everything would be far away and not so scary.

I really don't know how I'm going to pass the time for the next 10-12 hours until I can go to sleep, again.

This is sad and depressing, I know. So I'll end with a joke:

Q: You know what I've really enjoyed about being back at Drake?

A: Nothing

END OF SUMMER BONANZA!!!!

2007-08-19T16:17:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I got that car I was looking to get. I'll have pictures of it sometime, maybe, but for now you'll have to settle with knowing its AS AWESOME AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE! It is a 2005 Chevy Cobalt and yellow. And it is my new best friend. So there.

So I have a few dozen things to take care of before I can go back to Drake. The primary concern of mine is that I have to get taxes and insurance stuff done for that new automobile I have sitting in the driveway, here at home. I will be taking care of that bright and early tomorrow morning.

Then I have to do ALL MY LAUNDRY. That's right. I'm going to do all my laundry. Almost every thing I own to wear will be laundered and cleaned and made to look spiffy. This process has already started this evening and will continue long into the next 24 hour period.

I also have to pack all my junk into my new car so that it can go with me to Drake on Tuesday morning/afternoon. I don't really know when I'm heading back. I guess I'd better figure that out, too.

Whenever I DO get back to campus, I have to move myself into my old single dorm for another year of schoolin'. Then I am GOING to see Stardust no matter what. Unless no one else is going with me. I'm too embarrassed to go by myself...

On Wednesday, rain or shine, I'm helping the new little tykes move in. That's right, Skyler C. Bartels is doing volunteer work. But I get a free shirt, the group (L!T)'s name gets out there a bit, and I get to move in early and avoid the hectic craziness that weekend move-ins always seem to become.

On Thursday, I will restart my Help Desk employment by working an 8 hour shift in the dungeon. No, 'dungeon' is too cliche a thing to call it... Uh.... how about.... Help Desk? Same connotations behind each one, I feel. Yes yes. I will also be doing this same shift on Friday, starting at 8am. This is cool because it'll help train me to get up in the mornings again. I haven't seen 8am in... well, a few days, actually. But I'm still staying up until 4-5am every 'night'. I have mental issues.

That weekend I have to take John Flowers to see Last Legion and then I'm going to a Wierd Al concert on Sunday. Otherwise, I'm pretty much free both days.

Otherwise... my first week back will be wet (if the weather reports are correct) and full of packing and moving and lifting and exasperation.

Sounds like the perfect precursor to college.

Episode.... Man, I am done with episode titles

2007-08-17T01:37:00.000-07:00

Yeah, shocking... I know. It was a great running gag, but I just no longer feel the need to keep it running.

So, I know you've all been on pins and needles waiting to find out what's going on with "Skyler and the Hunt for a New Car" and your waiting will not go unrewarded... When I actually get the car, you will all be front and center at finding out what the story is. But, well... a few things got in the way the past few days and I wasn't even able to leave the house and look at cars.

Today, however, I actually went to Hastings, NE and took a look at the car of my dreams... And test drove it... to the songs of Stone Temple Pilots ("Interstate Love Song" to be exact) and let me tell you... I will own this car.

But until I do, that's all I want to talk about it.

Otherwise, I'm almost ready to leave home again and head to Drake to move in for my fourth time. I'm not going to have any help moving in, so for the most part I'm going to have to fill my car with essentials (I just mistyped "with" as "whit" and I don't know why I'm sharing that, but.... yeah ok moving on now...) and hope I can survive off of that until my parents can cart the rest of my junk to me.

That's next Tuesday. Then on Wednesday I have to help move in the new students so they can start their new lives as Drake students. Oh joy! I'm sure I will only make one of them regret coming to Drake.

Then I have about a week of nothing before my fourth and final year. I've made mistakes in my schooling in the past, but now I'm going to go forth and correct them in eight-ish months.

Or fail.

Either way, at least I'll be able to say "I tried."

Unless I fail, then my folks will kill me and I'll never say anything again.

Episode 46: Car Talk (or: CAR-LLING ALL CARS!)

2007-08-14T02:15:00.000-07:00

I got a lot of puns, and so little time.

After years and years of driving my car and hating it for the trouble its been worth... I'm finally taking it in to trade it in for something else. Something better. Something that won't have transmission problems, will have a working stereo, will not die on me at random in parking lots across America, won't blow hot air at my face that melts my eyes out of their sockets, etc.

I've got my eyes (which haven't melted, yet) on this 2005 Chevy Cobalt. It's yellow. I have been in love with yellow cars for years. Since before I've been driving.

I've never been into cars, I only really feel a need to have one to get me from A to B and back again. But to have a yellow car... and a sporty one at that? I'm close to changing my mind.

Its a bit out of my price range, but I plan on driving it anyhow. I will do just about everything in my power to get the vehicle back here.

Regardless, I will come home with a new car tomorrow and then have a new car for when I go back to Drake. It will rock.

I will be so mad, though, if I come home with my old car. Like you wouldn't believe. This is a two part episode, though... I will post part two after I bring my car home.

It will be awesome (I hope)!

Episode 45: Water (or: Submerged)

2007-08-08T19:16:00.000-07:00

I haven't been swimming in over 12 years. After a time, I became self-conscious about my thin torso and stopped going. By the time I got over that, I felt I was too old to go to the child-filled public pool here in Harvard, NE.

Then I went to college and I never really went again.

Today I went to some Mary Lanning Memorial Hospital (where my father works) picnic at a water park and, well... I went swimming.

I'd purchased a new suit and towel prior at Wal-Mart and then I dove in. I did every stroke I could remember, and it was thrilling.

The difference in gravity, the weightlessness of being underwater, the blue world down below... And going off the boards! Oh my lord, how I'd forgotten! To swim, to dive, to dive down deep down to save my head (Heart lyrics. Oooh, barracuda!)... It all came back to me in an instant.

I at once felt both at peace and nostalgic in the water. I felt like I was ten years younger, at least. Swimming, I remembered how long I used to be able to hold my breath, how fast I could swim, how deep down I could go, and everything... And today I learned that I've become far worse at all these things in the decade+ I haven't been swimming.

So, I'm going to take it up, again. That's right. Not only am I lifting weights now, but I'm also swimming on a regular basis.

Yeah, I'm awesome.

Episode 44: Nostalgia (or: Blogging is Cool?)

2007-08-01T02:41:00.000-07:00

Sometimes there is simply no place for me to vent about my extreme issues. This is typically good, though, since... as a worrier of great magnitude, being unable to vent gives me ample time to reflect on my issues and deal with then in a far more normal and healthy manner. This is different than what I almost always like to do, which is to simply call upon my old 'talking diary' (who was actually a good friend of mine over MSN messenger, not one of those prepubescent toy journal things girls used to have, although I'm not sure if they made talking ones or if I'm simply wishing they had) and vent and rant and rant and vent for hours.

These days, my diary... she's gone, has moved on. And while I'm sometimes sad about this fact, it just means that I have to find a new outlet for my pent up frustrations about life, school, girls, friends, trouble, family, school, life, and school.

Back in high school, pre-talking diary, my most often used resource was my old Xanga page. If you could go back and read some of the things I wrote about, you'd probably short circuit. Anything was fair game, back in those days.

Now I not only find myself without my diary, but blogging is - for the most part - simply not about that, anymore. Now I talk about what I've been up to, what movies I've seen, how many brownies I've eaten, etc. I can't share my thoughts on the world at large and all the people and problems within it because those people and those problems and that world has easy access to it, and can judge or mistake or read too much into the things I write.

For instance, I am really dying to talk about a person I know's apparent recent life choice and how funny I think their poor decision making skills and timing are. But I can't. That person could read and might misinterpret it. So, the blog is out.

And I re-learned recently (I keep forgetting this fact, for some reason) that my friends sometimes share things with people, and since ever since high school all my friends have somehow known all my other friends through strange connections, I can't share my thoughts with a new 'talking diary', which is both maddening and comforting, because it'd suck if my thoughts got back to the person in question.

At times like these, when I can't sleep... and I can't think... and I can't focus or concentrate or anything... I'd like to listen to music. Or play through Half-Life 2. Or watch an Indiana Jones movie. Or something... but everyone is sleeping and I've got a haircut in the morning and work tomorrow night and the ever looming stress of people and things and the world hanging above my head at all times.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, this isn't a post about anything in particular. It's a post about how it can't be. And why my blog is usually filled with jokes or non-sequiturs or puns or anecdotes, instead of important life events that happen to me or people I know.

I need to sleep. I need to listen to Hooverphonic. I need to get better at playing guitar. I need to get out of summer and into school, where my life can get back on a track... of any sort.

Sorry for the lengthy, over-worded post about stuff you won't care about.

I just felt the need to vent a little.

Episode 43: Goodbye, July (or: Goodbye, Summer)

2007-07-31T02:37:00.000-07:00

So I am almost free.

I have a final to take. Then I have to work. Then, for the most part... summer can begin to end.

The start of this summer was a stress test on me. After my lackluster performance during my second semester last year, I thought for sure things were going to just go downhill until I hit a bottom. I knew they would, actually. Which is sad. And pathetic.

May ended out pretty "OK", I suppose. I was just fearing the months ahead. Pete was home, Zak was home... mom was home... dad was working all the time, still is, actually. We played and wrote music, Pete and I played Mario 64 with near-religious dedication, I saw movies... it was fun.

Then came June. What. A. Sonuvabitch. Long, work-loaded, class-filled, boring-boring-boring, very little fun.... STRESSED-OUT!

July was worse. Mainly because I figured, if fate and destiny were gonna screw me over, they'd wait until the last possible minute. So, every day was a long, drawn out pain in the ass. Work dragged, classes and tests seemed huge and hard, everything seemed to mock me... Even going to Des Moines for the 4th seemed to be a misleading blessing of some kind, because all it really did was add new worries and doubts that weren't there before.

But now that we've reached the month's end, and I've got all my stuff to go back to Drake filled out and sent in, I've just printed off my two-weeks notice for work, my class ends tomorrow, and in one week I'll be coming back from my second summer-trip to Des Moines, this time heading to Iowa City to see a concert. A REVEREND HORNET HEAT CONCERT! It'll be a psychobilly freakout, is what it'll be.

Then I'll head back home and ride the rails into the Fall semester...

Where I can stress out over the little question of:

"OH GOD HOW WILL I MANAGE TO NOT GRADUATE?!

OH BOY!

Episode 42: The Final Countdown (or: El Countdown de la Finale)

2007-07-22T01:58:00.000-07:00

No, not the song of the same name by the band Europe, this is the final 31 days of my summer vacation, wrapped up into a nice countdown.

31-22:
-These are the only days left I have in my Accounting class at CCC, in Hastings, NE. I have four tests left, although the final one is a comprehensive exam, and since I'm doing well so far, I assume this means I will do well on this. This is, however, assuming that I know what I'm talking about.

21-20:
-I don't typically work on Wed/Thurs, but the next bit explains what is going on, here.

17-16:
-I will be heading to Des Moines for a little bit of respite, taking the days off from work (more accurately: changing the days I work to the Wed/Thurs prior to the weekend) to enjoy a concert and hopefully some good company before heading back for the final half-month of my summer at home.

15:
-Turning in my 2-Weeks notice at work; This is always fun because, since I've left this job three times already, I simply use the same old resignation letter, change some names and dates, and viola! Instant "Get out of Jail" free card! This time, however, I will be turning it in late, under the pretenses of "I would have turned it in on time, but I was on vacation and forgot!" The oldest trick in the book...

14-5:
-My last days of work forever at Hamilton Telecommunications (I hope and pray). Tearful goodbyes, warm hugs, well-wishes of Godspeed.... None of these things will happen as I leave the building, forever.

4-1:
-My final days of summer, all before I head back to Drake University for some volunteer work (Hey, I get to move in early and help spread the Lit Society's name around a bit? Heck, you don't gotta ask me twice!) and some smooth sailing into the first semester of the end of my college career.

0:
-August 21, 2007: What will the future hold in store for you?

Episode 41: A Terrible Truth (or: How I Spent My Weekend)

2007-07-18T22:41:00.000-07:00

So I guess it's time for another one of these, eh? How're you all doing? If you could only answer while I'm writing this post, then we could have a talk. A talk about...

Weekends.

You see, since my work week is a touch more stupid than most people's, my weekends actually take place on Wednesday and Thursday, instead of your average Sat/Sun business, like most people experience.

Since this means I can't hang out with anyone during MY weekends, I have to stay indoors. Also, as a side note, I have to study for tests that I take every three days, so I couldn't go out anyhow.

So, tomorrow, being my last day of the weekend, I figure (after I get back from shopping in the morning) I'll study a whole lot, then actually continue work on my photo project I started. I wanted 15-19 pictures, total. I have 4. And one of them is overly crummy. Then maybe - just maybe - I'll study some more, actually work out (I skipped today... I feel so bad), and maybe watch some of this show called "Home Movies" which is so good I don't feel I can adequately describe it to you.

See, if you could talk to me now, I'd ask you how you were going to spend your coming weekend. But we can't have a discussion, can we?

A few last notes:
-I want to trade my car in;
-I'm high off a kind of hot, liquid Jell-O made with about 4 cups of sugar
-Wishing I was done with so many things so I could start so many more
-Drawing more crude stick figure comics at work is great
-Going to bed, now.

G'night.

Episode 40: Joo Lie (or: Watchin' Frasier on DVD)

2007-07-11T22:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't been very active this summer. But I'm 22 and getting old, so I suppose this is acceptable.

But I've been writing (still) and I suppose I've just started working out, lifting and doing situps and stuff. And I've been hard at work wi...

Oh, working out? Yeah, I suppose I should share; I've started lifting with my younger brother for the past week. I'm going to keep it up for the rest of the summer and (I hope) into the school year. The reason for doing this? It's far too simple to even explain. I'm really just going through some stuff and figuring out that I'm not an overly healthy individual. So I'm working out, now. I'm also learning how to study again, for the first time, so...

I don't know, I really don't have much to say. I'm excited for summer to be over so I can get out of work and this house. Not that I hate the house, mind you, but I just feel like I'm running in circles doing nothing. And this job, despite the good pay and the fun I have and the friends I make... it always causes me to get at least a little depressed. And that's not cool.

So...

Come one, school. Let's GRADUATE!

Episode 39: The (Temporary) End of Everbody Stills (or: No More Write)

2007-07-08T01:22:00.000-07:00

I have been forced to quit writing my current story. By the main character's insecurities, anxieties, and apparent social disorders.

When I left him last, Everbody was on a men's room toilet, attempting to relieve the tension and anxiety he assumed he could rid through his... well, end. But he discovered that there was a problem with this.

Everbody, at this point in the story, has found the object he's been looking for his entire life, the one thing that makes him complete (or so he thinks). He'd thought he'd found it multiple times before, but had failed each and every time.

Now that the real deal is in front of him, within his grasp, he is shut down mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically as a result.

To quote Everbody (and the section's title), he is simply "Not Ready" yet.I hadn't ever anticipated that this would happen to him, at all. I know how the story ends. This CAN'T happen in that ending. But I can't NOT persue it, the concept of his continuing discoveries is too great to pass up. I thought I could make a choice, take time off from the story and examine the pros and cons of each possible answer.

But I was wrong.

It turns out that Everbody can never be the same after this, no matter what. Even if I try to take it out, from this point on in his life, Everbody will be affected by his discovery in the bathroom that day, with his pants down around his ankles. That he is too scared, anxious, and self-concious to simply reach out and grasp what he's always wanted. This holds him there, in that bathroom, until he and I can figure out what his next move should be.

Not WILL be. Should be. I'm not going to ruin this for him.

I've got my own life to ru(i)n.

Episode 38: Summer Daze (or: Vacations!)

2007-06-30T18:23:00.000-07:00

So in five days I will turn 22. This is nothing, to me. I seem to no longer really care so much for my own birthdays. It isn't that I'm not excited to continue growing up (note: not so excited, though), but I just don't feel the joy building inside me like I used to when I was a kid, or - to a much lesser extent - even a year ago. Oh well.

I've been working fairly nonstop all summer, and now I'm taking an Acct. course for the credits to help with my Marketing Minor at Drake. This has been eating up a lot of my free time as of late, keeping me fairly busy. Add to that the extensive writing I've been doing, as well as reading the entire Bret Easton Ellis library and watching episodes of Frasier on DVD (with my photo project to boot), and I've been very busy.

This past week at work I nearly shut down; I was bored, I didn't feel it was worth the time, and it was simply a chore to do (which, I'm to understand, is the definition of "work" anyhow). I was tired all the time... I needed a vacation.

Now I'm (sorta) on it.

Last night I attended a Roger Waters concert, which was awesome. If you don't know who that is, chances are you've heard him but didn't realize it. Roger is the bass player for Pink Floyd and has a great solo career. I saw him in Omaha last night and he played the entire length of Dark Side of the Moon (the album) on stage, plus some stuff off The Wall and his own material.

It was amazing.

The seats were awesome, the music was great (Roger's guitar players were awesome, especially the guy that NAILED all of Gilmour's guitar licks), and Roger's voice was on pitch the entire time. Also, he made fun of and bashed Bush quite a bit, which was awesome.

Then, today, I went and saw Knocked Up (4.8 out of 5) and Sicko (4 out of 5) for my older brother, Dr. Pete Bartels' birthday. It was cool.

Now I'm home, ready to go to work for two days, take and Acct test, then continue my vacation with a 4th of July shindig in Des Moines with friends, as well as working on getting the Drake Lit Society up and running to... better standards than before.

Then its back home for work, classes, and less sleep again.

I'm excited.

Episode 37: Fantastic Pictures (or: Photographic Four)

2007-06-21T22:04:00.000-07:00

As promised, here are both things I said I'd do yesterday, about fifteen minutes late:

First off, Fantastic Four: The Silver Surfer (he didn't really rise, so to speak) was pretty awesome. The first movie suffered from some... interesting pacing issues as well as a kinda weak script. The lines were cheesy, the acting was kinda bad, and the special effects were only so-so. And Dr. Doom was wasted.

Not so in FF2; First off, the story was just right. It had balance of humor and drama and tied up every loose end it created (unlike two other blockbusters I can think of... Spider Man and Pirates, I'm looking at you guys...). This time, instead of... uh... nothing happening for 90 minutes, the planet is in danger and the FF are there to step up and defend it. Along with Dr. Doom who pretends to be good but, come on, anyone with any comic book knowledge knows better.

Then there's the Silver Surfer. His origin isn't really covered in great detail, but you don't need it. To make him a fully fleshed out character is what ruins movies like this. Davey Jones would have been much better if they'd left him to be just.... Davey Jones. But in Pirates 3 they just tried to hard and, well, that movie sucked. In this movie, though, the "bad guys" (more on Galactus in a second...) are not given the greatest depth; Dr. Doom got his in the first movie, the Surfer is really just a pawn, and Galactus is just a storm cloud (again, more in a bit). This movie needed to be about the Fantastic Four's growth as a team and as individual characters since the first movie decided against this, and this time it worked.

And Galactus; If you're big into comic books, you know Galactus is a giant man in a purple/blue suit with a ridiculous helmet. In this kind of movie, it would only have been made fun of if that is how he appeared. So instead, the writing team for this film decided to make him a storm cloud that kills planets. And it worked. When the thing finally shows up to Earth near the film's climax, you'll be awed.

All in all? Not the best comic book movie made (Spider-Man 2, X2, and Batman Begins are in a constant war for that title), but its the best movie so far out of the summer blockbusters. And that's saying a lot. I give it a 4 1/2 out of 5 stars.
___________________________________

Now on to the picture show:

This summer I'm doing a little photo project I'm calling... well, I don't know yet. But basically its me taking group photos of myself. Here, have a look at the first batch of them:

This one I'm calling "The Band" for obvious reasons. Its the first one I did and kinda rough.

I'm calling this one "The Selection" because we're trying to figure out what movie to watch.

I'm calling this one "The Game" for, again, obvious reasons.

So there you have it. A movie review and some stupid looking pictures. What more could you ask for?

Enjoy, and see you soon!

Episode 36: Finding Direction (or: Chasing Amy)

2007-06-20T01:54:00.000-07:00

Tonight at work - while I was supposed to be doing my job - my story found a direction, and took off.

I'd had nothing. No major plot, no over-arching themes, no structure, no real character development... nothing. It was just page after page of story.

I've been writing it in small chunks, or chapters if you will, out of any kind of sequence and without any real regard to any of the content I'd produced before it, or had in my head to produce after it. Sometimes this material was dependant on other, like-material, but most of the time it was not. Each chunk told its own, small story, then moved on.

Off topic: "Rocky Balboa" is a fantastic movie and I want to watch it RIGHT NOW. It would probably make me cry at some point.

Anyhow, tonight, while coming up with my very first named character (aside from the main one, I'd been using placeholder names that described the character. For example, mine would be [Author] instead of Skyler), a female character named Amy Headwright, and the situation Amy resided in, it all came together.

Now my story has a place its going. It will need a clear origin, and then after that some form of structure. Both my greatest fear and greatest hope is that, when I finish writing this monster of a story, that I will be left with all its bits and pieces strung about in no order for me to shuffle about and use to shape its final form; Safer Sephiroth.... I mean, a complete story.

But I'm far from that, now. If I had to give its completion a fraction of some kind, I would probably say it is near 2/13ths of the way done. But I just hit that second 13th tonight, and I'm thrilled as hell about it.

So, if you ever read this thing (if I ever finish, first, I guess), and you get to the first page that has Amy Headwright's name on it, know that I thank her with all my heart; she's made this mish-mash of ideas and short vignettes into something far more grand... An honest to God story.

In the near future (i.e. Thursday) I will be posting my nearly-a-week-late review of Fantastic Four 2, as well as giving you a sneak peek at my summer-long photo project.
See you all at the picture show,
-Skyler

Episode 35: Story (or: What I'm Writing About)

2007-06-13T18:13:00.000-07:00

So, since I blog in many other places far more often than I even look at this site, I figured I'd let you all in on a little secret; the themes, characters, and general plot for my new story I've been working on for the past week.

The story is -currently!- titled "The Many Loves of Everbody Stills" and, as you can probably guess, focuses on one main character, namely a man named Everbody Stills. This is a strange name, I know, but it came to me while I was in the shower one day and, well... It is what it is. Don't debate things like this with me... Once I've made up my mind on it, it's pretty much done.

This story is going to chronicle the life of Everbody from his conception to his near-death (and possibly further, not sure yet...) and deal with, as the temporary title suggests, his many loves throughout that life.

But I'm a comedian first and a drama person second, you say? How could I possibly write a love story? Well, let me inform you that this will be no LOVE story. Not. A. Love story.

More to the point, it is a story of what it is to love and the dire effects that this has on a human being and his life. It is also a story of man's quest to find love and fulfill the missing gap in himself that can only be filled by the returned love of a woman (or man, but not in this story, pal!).

As is the case in real life, this story will have ups and down, comic moments of sheer gold balanced out with depressing bogs of sorrow and pain. Everbody will be run through the gauntlet by the time it reaches the story's conclusion.

I have, to date, 130+ single-spaced pages and am not close to finishing. Chances are good that I'll have more content than I'll know what to do with by the time I either finish it and start to compile and organize (I'm not writing in a flowing narrative... I'm writing in sections... GOD HELP ME!) or I give up and quit. But I'm having fun, and I know the entire story, so...

Anyhow, otherwise... I guess in the near future I'll have some more movie reviews (Silver Surfer and Knocked Up for example), and I'll share some wonderful pictures/stories about summer. Until then, though....

Godspeed,
-Skyler

Episode 34: "WHERE ARE YOU?!" (or: Here I am!)

2007-06-10T01:49:00.000-07:00

I haven't been keeping up to date here very well, recently, and now I have a legitimate excuse (or so I would like you all to believe):

Aside from working nights (7pm-3am) most every night of the week, including weekends (which kills a lot of spare time I'd normally have, what with my stupid sleep schedule and all), I have stumbled upon something huge.

Deep within my mind, accumulating silently over the past six-to-seven years, a story has formed. Something large and grand, and unlike anything I've ever dreamed of producing outside the confines of my imagination. And last night, without much warning, it began flooding out of my and onto paper while I sat at my job.

For the past 16 work-hours, I have been working feverishly and produced over 58 single-spaced pages of good, interesting, and fresh content, straight from my mind's word-bakery. It is the most I've put together in my entire life, and the first substantial content I've created in nearly a full year.

Fearing for the past five months that I'm dry in the writing department, this has been both exciting and frightening. What if it's not as up-to-snuff as I seem to think it is? What if it just plain stinks?

The most fun part of it is, I don't care one bit. I'm going with it, working on it when I can (which seems to be while I should be doing my job) and where I can. This work is different than anything I've ever done; it's fun, adventurous, and challenging, and I can't wait to see where I end up.

Wish me luck.

Godspeed,
-Skyler

Episode 33: [Movie Title Here] 3: Sucks (or: Why Pirates 3 Was Trash)

2007-05-28T01:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, I'm only going to warn you once and once only:HERE BE SPOILERS
Ok, that's done.

I loved the first two Pirates movies. I really, really did. I saw them both in theaters and loved them. The first one was fun and new and had pirates. The second one was more of the same, plus Davey Jones. It was win/win all around.

After the ending of the second film, it was clear that parts 2 and 3 were basically separated conjoined twins, although most people knew that going in. However, the wonderful setup of the second film almost promised a grand third and (God, I hope) final act.

These things included, at the very least, the rescue of Jack, the return of Barbossa, the story of Davey Jones, Will and his father, Will and Elizabeth's love, Jack and Elizabeth's love?, the heart of Davey Jones, the East India Trading Company, Cuttler and Jack's Past, Mr. Swan's loyalties, etc. There were many more, but they all seemed small and insignificant after watching Barbossa walk down those stairs.

So I waited a year, and what happens?

Garbage.

Like, I said, spoilers ahoy, from the beginning I knew I was in trouble when Barbossa was considered a Pirate Lord, on of the great captains. How can he and Jack be members of this council if Barbossa became captain by having a mutiny against Jack? I can understand one of them at a time, but they were never both captains of the same boat at the same time.

The scene where Jack is "dead" goes on for far too long (both during the scene and the effects of it throughout). The surrealist feel wasn't even well carried out. And the eventual rescue was poorly paced. The characters show up and instantly find him. "He's closer than you think" is a terrible device to use to move the story faster.

And why would Davey Jones put Jack there WITH THE BOAT if someone could just get out of (off?) his Locker?!

After Jack and Cuttler have their meeting, I expected them to go over the "mark" Jack had left on him, mentioned in the second film. By the end of the movie, when Cuttler is dead, there is no mention of this at all. Nothing.

There is an intense battle set up near the end of the film, where all the pirate lords have ships to fight the Company's armada. There's billions of ships, but only the Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman fight. All the other ships sit there and wait. Then, after one armada ship is taken down, the rest of the Company's ships just turns around and leaves. One ship down, and an entire armada flees? And what did those pirate lords do, exactly? Argue for 20 minutes then do nothing until the battle is over, then cheer? Weak.

Davey Jones, an interesting character, portrayed as both cruel and sympathetic, is revealed to be the lover of Tia Dalma, or the water god Calypso. There is a scene where Davey Jones turns human. You think maybe, just maybe, after everything is said and done, at least they would have a standoff of some kind after all the backstabbing and double-crosses they've but each other through, but no. He just dies. Two movies worth of set-up for a character, no execution. Pathetic.

And don't get me started on Calypso. Not a character AT ALL in part two, minor role that builds in part three, she turns into a giant, turns into a bunch of rock crabs, makes a storm, really does nothing, and then is gone. Wow, great writing!

Will and his father seemed tacked on. Barbossa seemed tacked on. The pirate lords seemed tacked on. There were 90 deaths that were not needed (Gov. Swan, Norrington, Davey Jones, etc.) or that could have been handled better. It was all garbage. And killing both Gov. Swan and beaching the Krakken off-screen, when both were memorable aspects of the first two movies... this is unforgivable.

And let's not forget trying to keep up with the movie series' millions of character driven subplots. Every person has some other things going on in every scene, making it impossible to even focus on this final one. To illustrate how bad this is, I have drawn a diagram that maps out all the characters' subplots. (diagram in no way spellchecked)

So, it was disappointing. Two great movies, one big lump of poop. Tarnishing the series, "At World's End" just reminds me that trying to do too much with a plot can ruin a great movie.

I give this 2/10, and hope to never see it again.

Episode 32: Skyler Returns (or: Who are you...?)

2007-05-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

Well well well, long time no see, eh? I know, I know... this will probably be "too little, too late" for most of you dear fans. Although, I don't really think I've got what qualifies as "dear fans," so...

Where have I been for over a month? Well, many places. None of which were that entertaining.

The end of the semester was an incredible mess. Having been largely apathetic about school and everything else, finals were a disaster that was unavoidable. If any lessons were learned by me this past semester, they were much appreciated. Here are some thing I have learned to avoid or change in my scholastic life:

Sleep - Yeah, I know... I've never been good at sleeping or keeping regular hours. But I rarely was in bed before 3AM most nights. This, of course, meant that waking up was an impossibility.

Eating - I costarted a little group called 10.5 which got together every evening and consumed foodstuffs at 10:30PM every night and, typically, sat down and chatted until 1AM. It is easy to see that this caused problems for my sleeping, but it also gave me quite terrible heartburn that lead to my eventual disphagia which, if you you look it up, is not really that cool a thing to suffer from.

Class Attendance - Go to every class. There is no excuse outside of being too sick or too dead. Otherwise, you're just too stupid.

Study for tests - This is going to sound like old news, but I can't stress enough how stupid you'll feel when you get a test back and, instead of a right answer, you had drawn a stupid little cartoon in hopes of getting a single point because it was funny. The only thing the professor will think is funny is how stupid you are and the face you make when you see your grade.

Friends - Friends are cool; girlfriends are cool. But consarn it there needs to be a limit. I like hanging out as much as the next person, but if you've got some assignment due the next day or a paper to write... Do that first. Guitar Hero 2 or Casino Royale will still be there the next day. The ability to turn in that paper won't.

Video Games - As mentioned before, Guitar Hero 2 or Final Fantasy of Halo or whatever your poison is... These are all great ways to relieve stress or waste time, or have fun. But do it in moderation. 15 minutes of homework should never compensate for 4 hours of Freebird on Expert mode. They always say that video games kill brain cells, and I think now I believe them.

Aside from this and the fear of my GPA and ability to attend school next semester, this summer has been nothing but simple and complicated. My old job wanted me back, so every other day I've driven a half an hour to fill out random paper work all over again (for the fourth time, they make you do it each rehire process you go through) and start actual work on Sunday evening.

I've been to my grandmother's house which was, as per usual, very boring. But I got to meet some old women down at the senior center and... Well, no, that was very boring, too.

My older brother is graduating from med school this weekend which is terrifying and exciting and sad and all that. It's been a long crawl for him, and as proud as I am it'll be hard not really seeing him for four years.

Otherwise, I'm going to get back in the habit of updating this thing on a regular basis. So, I hope to see you on here again fairly soon.

(Also, I'll probably review movies or something this summer, starting with Pirates 3 which is out this weekend and will more than likely be the best movie I've ever seen.)

Have a great summer!
-Skyler

Episode 31: Back Again? (or: So Soon?)

2007-04-12T09:38:00.000-07:00

So, I apologize for the horrible size/resolution issues with the previous post. You can't even click on most of the pictures to see the full sized versions. I don't know what happened. And I'd repost them, but I did those comics at work and then deleted them out of fear of being yelled at (whoops?), so. Maybe someday I'll do another one or something, I don't know.

Since the weekend starts, for me, on Thursdays after Acct. 1, I feel it's ok to talk about my weekend plans;

Go to this really awesome VAST concert in Lincoln, NE:
VAST is this band which is pretty much just this guy, Jon Crosby. He's got a Bono-like voice and a good ear for musicality. I fell in love with his music almost immediately after graduating from high school and then, before the end of my very first semester here at Drake I caught up on all his released music to date.

Most bands that I like are not mainstream. A lot of people say that, but those people really mean "not mainstr-emo," because they like these emo "bands" that they think no one else listens to, but in the end, every other emo "kid" with "unique tastes" listens to the same "music." Wow, lot of sarcasm-related-quotes there, huh?

Anyhow, my point is, I never see any of the bands that I like live, really, because they are either on a coast or in some other country (i.e. my favorite band, Hooverphonic, who never leaves the Belgium area...), but VAST is doing a show in Lincoln and, well, I'm really excited. I'm taking a camera and will probably get some pictures. But that concert is tonight at 9:30pm, less than 12 hours away. I'm really, really excited.

Dad's Birthday/World of Warcraft
Of course, the day after VAST is the 13th, my father's birthday. Since I am carpooling to the VAST show, and seeing as how I don't think they would really wanna help celebrate my dad's birthday, I will be driving back to Drake after the concert and then - weather permitting - drive home the next day. This sound stupid? It is.

I never remember my dad's birthday. Actually, I only remember my mom's because it, like my own birthday, is on the 5th of a month, and my older brother's birthday because it's five days before mine. Otherwise, I never remember my younger brother or father's birthday, and I never could remember my sister's, either.

So, of course, I got the ticket for the VAST concert months ago, without knowing any better. I is dum.

But! If I go or if I stay here, we are planning on playing World of Warcraft (we: Me, my brothers, and my father in our group of characters named after books of the Bible) Friday night. Nerd, right? Well, I haven't touched the game in over a month because of other things getting in the way. The first few hours of gameplay will involve everyone re-learning their respective characters and, quite frankly, it sounds awesome.

NOTHING ELSE
The rest of the weekend I plan on relaxing until next week, when we'll probably see the end of my life because we're on the downward spiral into finals week. And, quite frankly, I'm not too excited about that.

Episode 30: Garfield is Stupid (or: "Anything You Can Do...")

2007-04-11T14:47:00.000-07:00

Jim Davis is the guy that writes and draws the comic strip, Garfield. It used to be funny and had a great cartoon based on it back in the day. But in recent years, I have noticed that the comic strip became stupid and too dumb. Most of the jokes were "Garfield is sleeping," or "Garfield hates Odie," or "Garfield eats something." These were great when they were original or there were new things to do with those jokes, but these days? Not so much. Now the comic isn't even funny anymore.

Anyone could write Garfield better than Jim Davis. And to show you I'm right, I have gone ahead and made edits to strips he has done in the past, and will have a "side-by-side" comparison, with Jim's captions first, and mine right after:

This is boring and too easy a joke to go for. Mine on the other hand, requires you

to use your imagination:

This comic is just dumb. It's not funny, and the only thing that made me laugh

was the fact that Jim Davis probably got paid for it, knowing it wasn't funny.

The reason mine is funny is because it calls into question why

no one ever notices what Garfield says. He is less interested in

the events around him, and more caught up in his own, lonely,

depressing world.

A very common "Garfield is sleeping" joke, in which I at least
make it original.

Garfield is always depicted as a jerk. So, if he was putting on a show,

of any kind, wouldn't he be a jerk while doing it? Also, whoever threw

that boot is doing us all a favor.

John, Garfield's owner, is always depicted as never having much luck with

the ladies. And maybe this is because he has a large-lip fetish:

She is french because of that beret:

And then we have this gem:

I can only guess that John and Garfield just recently discovered that Odie,

the dog, is actually the Devil, Lord Satan. They both figure they should kill

the demonic dog, but have no idea how. Suddenly! Odie wakes up, and they

freak out and run away. Then, Satan uses his alone time to watch, what I can

only assume is some kind of strange pornography.

This entire thing would be much easier if there were better clues within the

comic, such as word bubbles or some other common comic-strip tool. So,

I decided to help Jim Davis out and edit some words in at the end.

And there you have it. If you thought any of this was funny (and God help you if you did...) you should go check out an even better sight where a guy explains each and every Marmaduke comic: http://marmadukeexplained.blogspot.com/

It's way funnier.

Have a great weekend!
-Skyler

Episode 29: Here I Am! (or: Computer Let Me Post!)

2007-04-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

So, in the past two-ish weeks I've had major difficulty with this site. I would make a full post then go to post it, my little hour-glass would spin and spin and stop and spin and go backwards or something and then spin some more.

Eventually it just stopped spinning and showed me a "page could not be displayed" page and I would hit "BACK" and there'd be an empty post-making screen, fresh and ready for my frustration to be fed right into it. It is safe to say that feed I did. And, in the end, you've heard absolutely nothing out of me in about, oh, that much time.

So, lets go down the list of important things that have happened (complete with [some!] pictures):

1.) Guitar Hero Thing That I Got Second Place At

(yes, i took that picture myself. so what?)
Oh, shoot! Did I give away the ending before I got there? I forgot that some people didn't like spoilers... Whoops.

Anyhow, weeks of practice paid off as I showed the world (read: a handful of people with an equal amount of time to waste) how big a lame nerd I am! Need proof? I didn't think so, but here you go anyhow:
Here we see some jerks playing a video game and being nerds. Seeing as how I'm one of those jerks/nerds, I can't much complain about it, can I?

These guys did ok, but in the end there could be only one first-place winner. And, after that, only one second-place winner. And that was me. Skyler Bartels.
(Note: I only competed in the hard bracket. Had I gone ahead and done the expert bracket like my gut told me, my gut would not be able to tell me anything anymore on account'a it not bein' a member of the livin' no more. Which would have been bad news for me, seein' as how that'd'a killed your's truly as well, now wouldn't'a it?)

2.) GRINDHOUSE!!!!!!!!!1111two
I don't even need to tell you that the new movie out this weekend blew apart my expectations. But I will anyway:

GRINDHOUSE BLEW AWAY MY EXPECTATIONS!

Yeah, it was that great.

3.) ODDS AND ENDS
Kingdom Hearts 2 is a video game for the Playstation 2. It is about 40 hours long and awesome. There is a newer, better version out in Japan that I want to be able to buy in this country.

I really dig Peter Gabriel right now. US is a great album. If you don't know who Peter Gabriel is, I am not your friend.

I had a mediocre Easter. I'm not saying that I hated it. But let's pretend I did.

My brothers are pretty much the coolest people in the world.

Skyler... out!

Episode 28: A Very Skyler Christmas (or: Guitarnament)

2007-03-31T10:58:00.000-07:00

Expect a post here about the Guitar Hero 2 tournament, as well as some pictures!

Oh boy!

[ETA: 9PMish]

Episode 27: Why I Hate Cars (or: YAWN!)

2007-03-26T12:53:00.000-07:00

So, I'm back from another rousing Spring Break. What lessons have I learned?

1.) Eating that many brownies, that much cake, that many M&Ms, drinking that much soda, etc... It works well when you're a high school student version of Skyler Bartels. But when you're not - when you're the new and "improved" college version of Skyler Bartels - it turns out that all that food is a recipe for dying.
Lesson Learned: I ain't 16 anymore.

2.) College friends are fun to make gross or lewd jokes around, so long as they are cool with it (and mostly when they aren't so cool with it). Watching movies, reading stories for class, etc. becomes far more entertaining when you and your buddy are making perverse jokes. College friends are cool for this. And only college friends.
Lesson Learned: My mother doesn't find those jokes that funny.

3.) Staying up late and playing video games until 4-5am every day, then waking up somewhere between noon and 1 in the afternoon is awesome. Its even more awesome when you're playing awesome games. It's even more awesome when no one tries to stop you. It's the most awesome when you aren't missing anything as a direct result of your poor sleeping pattern.
Lesson Learned: This doesn't work AT ALL in college.

4.) My younger brother has a constant joke where he says he "hates me" and we all laugh about it. Then sometimes he will come up and smack me across the back of the head or insult me in front of everyone, or both. Everyone finds it funny. But when the tables turn and I try to pick on him or call him names in front of my mother, I am instantly the bad guy.
Lesson Learned: I still love tormenting my younger brother, no matter the consequences.

5.) Over Thanksgiving break last semester my car died. Recently my power steering went out. Now the heat/AC isn't working all the time (mostly just blows out hot air, as discussed before). So I decided to drive another vehicle back to school. About two hours down the road, the battery seemingly falls apart and I sit on the road waiting for a tow truck.
Lesson Learned: The movie "Cars" is way more fun than the real thing.

So, that's that. I'm really tired and have to go to work now. So, see you fine folks again sometime down the line.

Keep it real,
-Skyler

Episode 26: Spring Break (or: Spring Break)

2007-03-22T16:44:00.000-07:00

So, I'm on Spring Break. That's right, me. Skyler Bartels. Spring Break. What's that mean? I'll tell you.

BROWNIES

It means lots and lots of BROWNIES. So many BROWNIES your head would spin off your shoulders and fly about the room. That's a lot of BROWNIES and also kind of embarrassing.

I've been spending break catching up on some homework, getting ready for a nasty huge paper to turn in next week, getting my Acct stuff taken care of (finally) and then readin' and readin' and readin' some more. Fantastic!

But don't think for a moment that I've forgotten about my little Guitar Hero II contest when I get back! Because I have, and I don't want you thinking about it. Thinking about it means you'll remember it, then maybe talk to me about it. And if you talk to me about it, chances are good you'll ask how the practice is going. And if you ask that, I'll have to tell you I haven't practiced it once all break, and have instead been playing The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion and the Wii Zelda game. And if you give a mouse a cookie, he'll want some milk!

And somewhere in that he needed to shave, if I remember right.

Tomorrow I collect my younger brother who has spent his entire break on a college band tour. Then I spend one more day eating millions of BROWNIES and then I head back for the place I call "home" to end out the year.

All in all, I'd give this break a BROWNIE-out-of-10. Because I like BROWNIES and recurring jokes.

Episode 25: Pain Island II: Return of Pain Island (or: I Hate My Car)

2007-03-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

So I had to go to the Art Center on Grand for my art history class and, as I pull out of my parking spot to get out of there and go back to my room to take a nap, I hear this groan and a short, staccato screech. Then my power steering goes out. Fantastical! Let's take a look, now, into the past at all the problems I've had with this car since I've got it:
-car was purchased without an antenna
-CD player was installed, proceeded to short out my front speakers
-front speakers were fixed, but got fried within three months
-tires go flat faster than is possible
-air conditioning sometimes just blows hot air. as if the vents are connected to Hell itself
-engine overheats, blows up
-power steering goes out
TOTAL: $A BILLION
...and this is all within about two years.

To top off my wonderful day, I missed the chance to see 300 again (yes, it'd be worth it) and to make matters worse, my personal computer's processor is overheating like mad, so I am not even about to use it right now.

But, yesterday had some good moments, too. The best was, of course, watching LOST on ABC. Another great episode. I also got some - very brief - nap time. Which was amazing.

Now, all I have to do is pay a $700THOUSAND dollar car repair bill (note: remove the THOUSAND) and I can go home for Spring Break.

That's right. You heard me. Skyler's crazy Spring Break plans for this year are to go home, eat a bunch of brownies, and sleep and sleep and sleep'n'sleep.

AAAAWWWWW YEAH

Episode 24: 300 (or: Buh-BUH-BUM! Buh-BUH-BUM!)

2007-03-10T20:06:00.000-08:00

So I went home this weekend and that was good and great, then I did a lot of my laundry and played some Guitar Hero II and Nintendo Wii. I also saw 300.

First thing's first... my laundry just finished and I gotta go collect it. Be right with you. . .

. . .

Never mind, there is some drying left to be done in there.

Laundry being done is great; when I went to Drake I swore I'd take enough clothes to last me two months, so I could just go home and have my mother do it rather than having to learn how to do it myself (and, subsequently, pay for it). This works well and great until you get so busy you are seriously not even able to plan on going home for two months. Then you're wearing the last-of-the-lasts and that's... not that clean. So, now that I bring boatloads of laundry home with me each trip, my mother thinks that I can do it myself. Which I can, now. Skyler - 1, Mom - 234,043.4 (the .4 is because, while she won, I still got to leave with that $100 bill and the banana).

Next up, Guitar Hero II and Wii; My younger brother is also home this weekend and, while I brought along my GHII to practice some tunes, he decided to take along his Wii for the trip. My dad really enjoys them both, so it has been a constant battle for attention from him. My younger brother simply adores Guitar Hero II, though, as evidenced here:

He's doing fairly well, but not as good as I'm doing. Which, by the way, is very well.

And, last but not least, 300; this movie was awesome. The acting was great, the effects were fantastic... costuming, location, characterization, and best of all, the adaptativeness from the original source material (a Frank Miller graphic novel, the guy that did Sin City) was fantastic. I'd give it an 8 out of 10, easy.

Tomorrow I lose an hour and drive back to Drake so I can kick it's education in the ass.

Wish me luck or, better yet, millions of dollars overnight so I don't have to continue going to school.

Episode 23: Not Dead (or: Who Be Do Be Do)

2007-03-06T14:58:00.000-08:00

March.

First off, let me assure you that I am far from dead. I'm a terrible blogger, always have been; most of my life I've blogged on one site so frequently (sometimes six times a day [hey, I was a depressed minor of questionable intellect with poor taste in music as a high schooler]) that eventually my ability to post anything of value went out the window with my youth, my faith in mankind, the money in my checking account, my ability to keep a pan full of brownies down, my faith in WOMANkind, etc. All that blog is, these days, is an incoherent ramble of nonsensical trains of thought, so worthless that I'll only link to it once, in exactly 45 days. Let's just say that it's neither funny nor does it make any sense.

But I'm coming back in a big way! With less important stuff that's so important, it'll make your brain fall out your ears.

Let's get rolling:

1.) This past weekend we had a lot of snow. This should in no way be news to any of you Drake students unless you were living in cave all weekend. Which I did. That's right, yours truly (hint: Me) blacked out his windows with black trash bags and watched every episode of LOST on DVD in a row over the course of four days/nights. It was awesome and also very fun. There is a reason I believe that to be the best show in television in years. That reason is because I'm right.

2.) Guitar Hero II tournament is coming up faster and faster, which means all this NOT-playing I'm doing is really gonna kill me come time to showcase my mad fret skills. All this time I'm going to spend practicing on a fake plastic guitar, you'd think I'd have some desire to pick my REAL guitar up again and learn how to play. Or, if you're me, you wouldn't think that at all.

3.) Going home this weekend (apparently) which is totally going to shoot my plans of seeing 300 on Friday out the window. But that's cool, because I missed my mother's birthday this past weekend on account of all the snow. So now I'm going home this weekend. But that's going to shoot my plans of seeing 300... Oh wait, I already said that. Why did I leave it in here, then? I could have just deleted it. I've done this joke before, too. It wasn't funny any of those other times. Why oh why am I still doing this? Shut up, Skyler! SHUT UP! They'll think we're unstable... Oh God, oh Jesus... oh oh oh... I can hear the ocean! Oh my... OH MY! I SMELL THE...!

D.) Making the plans to visit the Moon. We're going with Marmalade Mary and Dusty Limon, the Man of a Million Millions. Taking the magic-car to the movies, too. Going to see Fantasma de LeOpera in Hoop Dreams. Magitacularism!

Wednesday) Gotta eat the marbles!

Blue Wonder Power Milk) 3448284-29587590-12984659-1840-15986 = The code, Chaaaaarrrrlieeeeee!

4
Itchy
Tasty

Episode 22: Guitar Zero (or: Throat of Fire)

2007-02-28T08:39:00.000-08:00

This week has been exciting! I have gone to every class for the first time since the first week of classes, I have gotten all my homework done at least a day in advance, I have studied for all my tests and exams, and am making some serious headway on these bad grades that I am likely to still end up with by the end of the semester no matter how much dedication I seem to remember having had...

My throat is killing me, my head feels like stupid, my stomach moves about like it is doing the tango with my intestines, and I'm on Ibuprofen at nearly all hours of the day. But you know what? I feel great, overall. This is primarily because I'm awesome and am in love with this week. And also because I'm too cool to be too sick. Oh yeah.

This coming weekend I'm heading home for the first time since I've been back; I'm leaving Thursday after Acct and not looking back. Until I remember that I left my razor or something here and turn around to get it (because apparently, and this is in no way an exaggeration, it is far too important for me to look awesome and clean-shaven at home, when I never bother even looking in a mirror at school).

Otherwise, the only real thing going on with me right now is I'm trying to enter this Guitar Hero II tournament at the end of the month; I recently started playing in little bits, again, and I've noticed that I've gotten much better at it. So we'll see how that goes.

All in all, so long as I keep dedicated and remain awesome (like my everlasting New Years resolution demands) I should maintain my chipper outlook on life here at Drake University.

PS: Frank Miller's 300 hits theatres in a few weekends. Eff Why Eye, it is going to be awesome.

Episode 21: Starting My Jr Year (or: A Half a Year of "Whoops!")

2007-02-22T08:23:00.000-08:00

Starting this weekend - and fueled by conversations with some of Drake's "key" faculty members - I am now proud to say that I am going to be officially starting my Junior year of college here at Drake University. This is where you would normally cue the applause, folks.

First semester I wrote a script right when I got back on campus. This was bad, yet awesome. I had a lot of fun doing it and spent a lot of good, creative time with my older brother. But, at the same time, it was a poor choice because I really didn't focus on school for two-and-a-half weeks, right at the start, and I never really got invested in school... a video game franchise (the RPG "Xenosaga"), working at Toys R Us, and frequent dating seemed more important to me than school. And it showed, as I narrowly pulled out two passing grades that should have been failing grades.

So, this semester, I've pretty much spent the start trying to date some more and playing Guitar Hero 2, so I really haven't been invested in all my classes. Granted, 3 out of the 5 are in tip-top shape, so long as I don't drop the ball anywhere, but these other two...

So, since I know about the problems now as opposed to finding out that I'm failing two classes a week-and-a-half before the finals for those classes, (I'm not failing anything, now, mind you), I am really going to start taking school seriously again.

I've goofed off long enough; no more dating, no more Guitar Hero, no more random trips to random places at random times, no more shirking responsibilities, and maybe some more on campus activities to ground me firmly at Drake for the remainder of the semester.

I love it here too damn much to fail out, ever. And never because I was too busy being lazy instead of doing my work. Skyler Bartels never fails out of anything. And I am never, ever wrong in that prediction.

Episode 20: Skyler: Live! (or: Skyler: Depressed!)

2007-02-20T22:22:00.002-08:00

Well, I survived the long, half-boring road trip to Florida with my brother; I left from the Writer's Night to Omaha, NE and stayed overnight there, then I got up and came back here because - believe it or not - I forgot to turn in homework. So, having done that, my brother and I took off for the southern part of the country.

We saw lots of road, I slept a lot, and I read a great book called The Rules of Attraction. It is way better than the movie.

We got to Florida late-ish on Saturday night then I got up and was on airplanes all morning on Sunday, then I drove two hours to get here, did a lot of homework, and had some really great sleep. It was fairly awesome.

Now I'm trying to get through this book called The Dark Tower... I'm only on the first one, but I can already tell I'm either gonna love or hate it.

Otherwise, in an attempt to be as vague as possible, I have been disappointed far too many times by a [vagueness here] to even care enough to try and [vagueness here], and really, I just [vagueness here] with [too crude to post] and half a [too gross] green apple dipped in [too horrible] with all the [*bleep!*] and Mr. Aaron Jaco.

This has left me rather depressed-ish.

I'll get over it, but I'm tired of doing all the work when it comes to [vagueness here], so I'm just done doing all the work.

The
End

PS: I promise something lighthearted next time. Maybe.

Episode 19: Califlorida (or: Alli-date-or)

2007-02-13T16:55:00.000-08:00

Two quick posts combined = This post. Ok, let's go.

First, this weekend my older, med-school brother is going to Orlando, FL for his next medical rotation. But, since he's going to be there about a month, he's driving instead of flying and renting a car. I volunteered to accompany him. So, now, Thursday night (after Drake's Writers Night, which I'm going to, no matter what, and so should you!) I'm driving to Omaha, NE and then going straight from there to Florida on Friday morning.

Then, Sunday afternoon, I'm flying back from Orlando to Omaha and then! driving back to Des Moines to go to sleep for the first time all weekend.

Rest assured, I will not be drawing pictures and/or posting drawn pictures of the trip.

Second, I came up with an idea for an extreme dating reality show for Fox; 12 men try to court 1 woman out on the bayou. The challenge? You have to do your best to keep the woman pleased with you, even if that means lying to her face and altering your own personality. The reason for this life-altering?

If you don't get selected to make it to next week, they feed you to one of the alligators.

This happens until only one man is left. The show would be called:

Alli-date-or.

THE
END

Episode 18: Existential Quandary (or: GoldenEye is Cool and has Tanks)

2007-02-11T15:31:00.000-08:00

I had what is known throughout history as an "identity crisis," only mine was of monumental proportions. But, I can not start this story here. Come along, gentle reader, and take a trip back in time with me... back, to a different time; a time of happiness, a time of laughter, a time... of joy...

It was yesterday afternoon and my friend Aaron and I had decided that we would head over to Blues on Grand to see Frank Bang (awesome blues guitarist) instead of doing the other things we had eached planned to do individually (Aaron: Nothing/Skyler: More Nothing). Rest assured, jokes were made, good times were had, and the concert was a blast (seriously, the guitarist, Frank Bang... fantastical. He did a really good live cover of Led Zeppelin's "When the Levee Breaks," although since it was a concert, I suppose you already knew it would be a live cover. Wow, I must come off assuming everyone is stupid...). We came back, at some quick food, made some more jokes and ran into some people here or there, and then we went to bed.

I had made plans for Saturday night, but decided to try to change them to see this show, so instead of an all-night World of Warcraft run (yes, I play. Leave a comment and call me a nerd. Try to be creative, though. I've pretty much heard it all by this point...), I was going to get up early to have me some Horde adventures.

My clock went off at 7AM and I shot right up. And this, dear friend, is when my... bizarre occurence... eh, occured (Talk about redundancy... I'm a great English major, huh?).

Sitting up, I was so out of it from such a heavy night cram-packed with blues, that I could only think about one overly grand concept: One's identity. Only, it was more... like a question, as in... "Am I really Skyler Bartels, and what are the ramifications of being me?"

I really don't remember much, as I was so dazed upon waking up, aside from having my barely-active mind blown at the thought of being Skyler Bartels. Not in an awe-stricken sense... well, yes. In an awe-stricken sense. But rather than "YEAH! I'M AWESOME!" it was more or a seriously-toned "How does one have an identity?!"

The only thing I really remember doing about these vauge thoughts was getting out of bed, saying aloud to myself "Who am I?!" and shutting my alarm clock off. Then going back to bed.

I don't really remember much else, aside from that. Later I played about 5-6 hours of World of Warcraft, ate some dinner, did some homework, and watched GoldenEye on DVD. So, I will leave you with two questions:

1) How does one deal with the topic of who he is based on self-inspection and discovery? Can a man ever truely understand his identity and his self?

2) How did James Bond, who was in a tank behind a fast-moving train, manage to be in front of the train in said tank, dozens of miles down the rails, if the train was moving its standard speed and the tank was going at a snail's crawl?!

Episode 17: New Black Socks (or: LOST!)

2007-02-05T13:34:00.000-08:00

I feel great today, and - for once - I know exactly why. But rather than just describe why to you in boring words, I figure I can probably use these newly discovered pieces of art done by the late, great Leonardo da Vinci. So, without further ado:

The "Now" is Awesome
The Skyler Bartels Story
With illustrations by:
Leonardo da Vinci

1) Black Socks
I love black socks so much, that if I told you, you wouldn't believe it. So, instead of telling you, I'll illustrate for you how much I love them. Or, to be more accurate, this picture drawn and painted by the marvel of a man known as da Vinci will illustrate it for you:

I find black socks give the illusion of added warmth for some reason and, obviously, da Vinci agrees. Over the past few years, my collection of black socks has diminished, either to the socks getting holes, washers and dryers eating them (potentially for the socks' souls or courage, although studies on this have been inconclusive thus far...), etc. But, this past weekend I replenished by supply with newer, tighter socks that really give me that extra "WARM" feeling.

2) "Children of Men"
Over the past weekend my family and I saw about 900 billion movies, and one of them was this fantastic movie called "Children of Men." But rather than even mention the story to you, I'll let this painting found in da Vinci's notebook do all the talking:

This painting was called "Self Portrait After Having Clive Owen BLOW MY MIND in 'Children of Men'" and I think his expression and approval is really all that is necessary; If it's good enough for da Vinci, it should be good enough for me and you.

3) New LOST this Wednesday!
The art, history, and television world was most astounded by this picture, however. It's of da Vinci's vitruvian man, or at least a different version of said work:

It appears to be an older version, to be sure, and not the one we're most used to seeing, but bares a striking resemblance to the virtuvian man we all recognize. If you look closely at the man's face, though, you'll see a couple of differences.

A) The face is clearly of Jack Shephard, from ABC's hit drama, "LOST" (Wed, 9/10pm), and
B) da Vinci seems to love said character.

So, there you have it. As we get farther and farther into the week, I'm sure I'll start to feel like I no longer care for anything, but as it stands now, school, life, friends, and fun all seem to be clicking. Which is awesome.

But, all in all, I'm just really excited that these new pieces of Leonardo da Vinci art worked so well with this post. Really excited and... really confused...

Episode 16: TD Features Featuring: Skyler! (or: Paper Conundrum)

2007-02-02T11:06:00.001-08:00

So I managed today to finally get my hands on this past Thursday's printing of the Drake University-made school newspaper, the Times Delphic which just so happens to feature an article written by me (that's a looooooooong sentence. Wow).

The article I wrote is about the new Ultimate Frisbee team and their exploits so far in becoming both a functioning group and an official Drake recognized organization. I thought I did a fine job doing the interview and writing up the article.

Writing articles for school papers is nothing new to me, as I wrote each month for my high school paper, but those were editorials where I, basically, said whatever the heck I felt like saying (within school parameters and rules and guidelines which, apparently, I still have issues dealing with today...). These are journalistic reports on events and activities around the school, here. Slightly different.

Back in high school, though, I was supposed to get my articles OK'd by the administration (since all I seemed to do was write on controversial topics that ended up coming down pretty hard on the entire student body), but after the first one was censored so heavily, I just lied and said that they had read them and OK'd them, then they ran that month.

While this was lying and cheating, I figured it was fine since later the administration would approach me and tell me how much they loved the article and how it was the only thing in the paper they read. They had apparently forgotten about their duties completely, it had seemed.

So, in the end, the only thing that happened to my article was the teacher of my journalism class fixing grammar and spelling mistakes and making sure everything was accurate as far as information. Then it was printed, more or less, exactly how I wrote it.

The Times Delphic article I wrote, though, is slightly different. While for the most part it is the article I wrote, there are some differences here and there... A few rewordings, some parts left out, a title that I didn't give it, some things added or moved about... So, in the end, while the majority of the article is what I produced, the final product is just a touch different.

And I'm not complaining in the least, to be sure. Its not like they removed some part I had put in there about how the Ultimate Frisbee team were some racist or sexist jerks or anything like that (which they aren't! I'm just saying, for example!!!! NO ONE SHOOT ME! I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!), and I'm not really journalistic writing material, as I'm a fiction writer and like to make stuff up, primarily. So tuning my article into something they can print is perfectly OK by me.

But its just interesting to see my name attached to something that wasn't created by just my hand. Its a falsification, any way you look at it. A small one? Sure, but a falsification nonetheless. And, like I said, it doesn't upset me at all, because they are editors and stuff, but... It just makes me fear for the future of all my writing and what an editor will be for me if I ever become a novelist or something. Will any work I try to publish or produce for the masses ever be mine alone? Will someone else always have a hand in making my creations ready for the world?

In talking to my mother about this fact, I came to the realization that so very few people ever have 100% say in what their creations are in the final product. Even though my parents were the ones that created me, at 21 years of age, I'm a man that has been shaped by much more than just his parents. The entire world around me and all its people are to blame for my reaction to everything and how I've responded in my growth.

So, again, while not upset about how the article turned out, it has made me wonder about the creation of all things and how we can only create with our intent, but it is the input of the many that helps us present.

Episode 15: Dreams Lost (or: Cussin' up a Storm)

2007-01-30T23:38:00.000-08:00

So, as another page is turned in the great "Book of Life" (actually a rather crummy read; poor character development, lack of a solid plot, terrible dialogue, bad jokes that go on too long, etc.) and my New Year's Resolution is over. No, I'm still going to be awesome... that will never change. Of course, I'm speaking of my cutting back from swearing and vulgarity.

As mentioned before, my humor was driven solely on my ability to be as crude as possible. I had removed this from my... repertoire, as it were, and there was a hole. A hole filled... with me being a huge jerk.

That's right, instead of being gross and using naughty words, I would just insult everyone around me and basically be the biggest tool I've ever been. This came to a head one night when I realized I was just being loud so I could be mean, not just for the sake of being loud (as is my favorite past-time, anymore). This simply would not do.

So, along with adding a minor and starting to write for the Times Delphic (more on that after something I write actually ends up in a paper), this semester sees another amazing first for me: Willingly failing at something that, if I'd just worked on it a little bit? Would probably work out just fine in the end.

Oh, wait. That's not a first. That's pretty much the title of my future autobiography:

"It Would Have been Fine if I'd Just Tried Harder"

The Skyler Bartels Story

Episode 14: Tum-Tum Troubles (or: Uggh)

2007-01-27T15:45:00.000-08:00

So, that last post was completed with one goal in mind: To create the most trite and full-of-itself narrative I've ever produced.

I cleaned out my car and found about 90+ CD cases. It was awkward trying to remember when I'd purchased them each and, to my memory, I don't even remember having ever listened to at least a few of them...

Speaking of having been outside, it... is.. cold. I've been in these parts my entire 21 years of life and I still am not used to it getting cold and, frankly, I hate the entire thing.

This is a short episode for 2 reasons:
1) Bored
2) Lazy

Expect something tomorrow so I can type it up instead of do my acct homework. Adios!
-Skyler

Episode 13: Adrift (or: The Waves of Change)

2007-01-24T22:35:00.000-08:00

I came to the realization this evening that I am in a pivotal moment of change. With a new minor, new ventures on the horizon in terms of academia, extra-curricular activities, and possible career goals, life itself has never been so open and yet so closed at the same time for me.

If time is like a river that flows and flows... and we are adrift in said river, than life itself is the ship we sail. And all rivers eventually end at the ocean. The saddest fact about this journey is that neither ship nor sailor will ever reach the ocean, for the vast sea... she is the unattainable... she is enlightenment. But if we strive in our perilous quest for our glorious end result, we can make it close.

We can plan our course as best as we can, but change can move us in strange directions, and the waves of change are hitting me harder than before. In one mindset, they are steering me off course. But in another mindset altogether, one could see it as divine intervention, with the waves crashing against me and pushing me into a new branch of the river that I didn't even know was there, full of new sights to see and wonders to behold.

Life is a mystery, though. She moves and she moves... And yet she moves not by our control, but by that of an unseen captain, a hand guiding our vessel downstream with no worry about the treacherous waters before us. All we can do is watch and pray... Pray that the captain knows best.

I am not a God-fearing of even God-believing-in man, by any account, but to say there is nothing guiding my ship but me instills far too much fear in me. I do not want that kind of control over everything, that much responsibility. And really, when one thinks about it, how much control does any of us have over the occurrences and experiences of our own lives?

I know not where this journey will lead, but I am aware of my own excitement toward discovery. Someday soon I will look back on where I've been and realize that paths taken were never as scary as I had perceived oh so many weeks and months and years ago.

A life is a small amount of time we are given, and it's end is rarely in our control. But if the right choices are made, and at the right time, then even factoring in the grand mystery of it all and one's complete inability to have any say in it's flow, we shall at least remain confident that we provided our captain with a proper direction, for if we are not the captain of our vessel, then surely we are its compass.

North or South, East or West... we must guide ourselves as best we can down time's eternal river, until either sea or death claims us.

Episode 12: Many Things (or: Milky Way in the Shower)

2007-01-22T08:20:00.000-08:00

So, as it turns out, after a not-going-to-be-here-next-year scare, I will remain here and finish out my four-year Drake education with a minor in marketing, not a major. This is for two reasons: The first is that I want to be out of here in that four-year time period. The second is that the major is a lot of work.

I am currently trying very hard to catch up to everything that's been going on in the marketing world that I've missed. Turns out? I've missed a lot.

I'm also trying really hard to get really good at Guitar Hero again. I used to be decent, back in my Toys-R-Us days, but as of late I have started to really stink up the joint. Only recently have I been able to get 5-Stars on some of the early songs on Hard. I dread Psychobilly Freak-Out.

Yesterday my good friend Aaron and I stood outside a Best Buy early in the morning to secure my younger brother's Nintendo Wii. On Thursday, I will be driving said Wii to him and then watching him play Zelda until the wii hours of the day. Yes, that was a bad pun.

I am going to start writing for the TD, maybe. That'll be... interesting...ish?

Otherwise, this post was probably far less wonderful than I had previously advertised. Tomorrow I might make a post about how my brain is plotting to overthrow... ITSELF! Until then, carry on!
-Skyler

Episode 10: Drake - Chapter VII (or: The Redeadening)

2007-01-16T11:15:00.000-08:00

I'm a Back-to-School fool. What does this mean? It means that I'm not only ready for another awesome semester at the school I call home (Drake, by the way...), but I'm also ready to get invested in a second major:

Marketing

Turns out, it might be hard to get through the entire major in 3 semesters. As one would imagine, the ability to burn through it is an immense, looming challenge. But for the first time in... ... ... well, ever... I'm excited about schooling.

I've already gotten myself signed up for the major, have meetings with some of the top brass within the dept., and have registered for some of the courses for this semester. Will I maybe have to take some courses this summer at a community college just to get the major taken care of so I can have a 4-year college experience and graduate on time? Probably, but I'm ok with that.

I usually joke around about things, here, and I usually look at everything in a pretty positive light (or, at least... at medium brightness), but I'm actually serious about taking this challenge head-on (apply directly to the forehead) and meeting it at every step and every turn.

Why marketing? I've wanted to go into it since before I started college. There's something about the entire world of marketing that I just find magical and enthralling. I want to be a part of it, and I finally think I've matured enough to do so.

So, tomorrow I am meeting with the marketing folks to determine what steps I need to take (like probably having only marketing/business courses my senior year) and where I need to start.

This wouldn't be such a large task to accomplish if I was switching majors, but I'm still going to be a Writing major, as well, so... double my delightment with the right mint, eh?

I'll probably actually post whatever news I get on the matter here, tomorrow, as well. I like to keep things updated as best as possible.

Keep it real,
-Skyler

Episode 9: Final Weekend (or: Intolerable Subterfuge)

2007-01-11T21:07:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how missing one new episode of The Office can ruin a fine gentleman's evening... Ah, what a shame... what a shame.

Oh, hello! I didn't see you there (why did I think this would be funny? Oh, God...).

I'm about 40 minutes away from my final weekend at home before the new semester begins. What will the start of '07 hold for Skyler? Many interesting things (including, but not limited to: a second major, another stupid Spring Break stunt, looking for internships, and building a boat made of dreams to sail the seas of... of... dreams!), but most importantly, what will happen tomorrow and the next day?

Tomorrow my young brother, Zak, returns from his adventures in interterm for the second weekend in a row, bringing with him his massive desktop computer what was taken from my older brother, Pete. We will use his computer, this one, my machine, and Pete's laptop, to play many hours (as in, hours upon hours upon hours) of World of Warcraft, perhaps with longtime family friend, Mr. Justin (who will not be present, but - what with the advent of the Internet...).

We will also watch a few movies (more than likely) and then retire each night exhausted, fulfilled aaaaaaaaaand a bit lonely and scared. But fear not!, dear readers, for your hero Skyler, ever true and valiant as Arthur the King, will not perish!

Instead he'll head back to Drake on Sunday, unpack his stuff, and return to classes next Tuesday with more DVD's to add to his collection, some books, too, and a car that actually works for once. All will be well.

So, once again, I leave you with a cliffhanger, although this time the stakes are higher, the magnitude of suspense... biting! I have no more jokes this time! Just exclamation points! I got too many at the surplus store!!!!!! !!!!!! ...!

Adios!
-Skyler!

Episode 8: The End of a Break (or: How I Wasted my Xmas Break)

2007-01-07T13:38:00.000-08:00

Another week down the drain, and what have I got to show for it? Nothing, NOTHING!

Well, ok, so perhaps I'm being a touch dramatic, but who am I to stop people from being dramatic? That's what I thought.

My break is coming to a close, with one final week of freedom from homework and classes and professors and lectures and work study and alarm clocks and cold walks to Howard at 8AM. These are the glory days, when I try to cram as much video game playing, DVD watching, book reading, slacking-off fun-time mega-awesome super-wonder into five or six final days of amazing, explosive adventures the likes of which the tri-city area has never seen before, and will likely ne'er see again.

Of course, having a part-time job during this portion of time is really killer to that idea.

To end my break in style, I'm going to spend as much time post-work hours reading books (I have an Artemis Fowl book I'm still reading through and another fantastic book, The Time Travelers Wife to blaze through), watching DVDs (I just got the second season of the American Office, which - despite what most people think, is actually on par with the British version), and eating cookies, playing board games with friends and family, and getting in nearly three hours of sleep each night. Although this last part will be no different than when I return to Drake. Heh.... heh heh.... hmm...

So, until I see you again, rest assured that I'm pretty much the laziest person in the world, and I'm also pretty cool. I don't know why I found the need to tell you these facts, however, as I'm sure both of these facts (if not just the second "I'm also pretty cool" fact) are well known to you by now.

Skyler, out!

PS: My resolution is still doing well. I'm really getting a feel for this non-swearing, less-vulgar business. I can't wait to see how I do with it at Drake in a few weeks.

Episode 7: The Adventures of Ethics in Tactland (or: Me n' my Morals)

2007-01-02T16:16:00.000-08:00

So, we come at last to another year of complaints and embarrassments, defeats and forfeits, withdrawals and upsetting news.

Yes indeed, I'm talking about my (in)ability to stay true to my new year's resolution!

As stated previously, my major resolution each year is to remain in the state of "Awesome" that I am in 9/10ths of the time. But this year - oh boy! this year - I'm going all out with a grand plan that is...

NOT BEING VULGAR OR CRASS

For the past number of years I have made an effort to being far more unsettling in public, more rude, crude, and full of 'tude... oh, sweet man alive did I just say "full of 'tude?" And then leave it in this post? And then write about my disbelief as if I were having a conversation, or saying this out loud?

Anyhow, this was all in an attempt to do two things;
1) Become far more funny. This is only, of course, because of
2) A need to emulate both popular culture and the vocabulary/general practice of my peers.

Since this has become so ingrained in me, however, I have become finding it increasingly difficult to not be crude at times, which seriously upsets some people (mostly my parents) because they don't generally like to hear such words and/or thoughts.

But the main reason I'm going forth with this is not to appease these people, but simply because there is absolutely no need for this kind of "mindset+vocabulary=dirty thoughts 24/7" mentality. I used to live under the illusion that these things were "just words" and all that rot, and they are. But its the meaning put behind them. While I don't really mean it when I say "I'da ****** her up the ***," someone overhearing it, or someone of high moral values (i.e. anyone from the Catholic church) might think otherwise and put me in a pit and stone me until I die.

So, in an effort to appease people around me and in an attempt to better myself, I am doing away with vulgarity as best I can. So far I am doing pretty poorly, but I'm learning fast. The problem is catching myself before I say something. Today, at work, I had to stop myself from saying "I kicked 'im right in the *** (<-- this is "ass," by the way, making the *'s totally pointless)!" to my manager while telling a story.

Instead, at the last possible second (and while holding the word "the" for an incredibly awkward length of time), I replaced the swear with "rear-end!" This of course met with questioning looks, but those that understood what had happened knew what was up.

So, if in the near future you chat with me and you notice long pauses between words, words being dropped, or me yelling at myself because I said a "dirty" word, understand that its all for the benefit of pointlessly bettering myself.

Happy New Year.

Episode 6: Post Christmas Blues (or: "More Work?")

2006-12-28T16:47:00.000-08:00

I had a mighty fine Christmas, yes I did. I got a good stash, including some great sci-fi DVDs (Slither, Cube, Carpenter's Thing), the new(ish) Audioslave album, a bunch of books, and Final Fantasy XII, which I had been waiting for.

I've decided that, since I was without incoming cash flow of a larger scale, I should work over break. So I'm back at Hamilton, doing phone representative work. Its easy and part-time, which means only 20 hours a week. But...

New Years is coming up, though, and its about time for resolutions. Each year my primary resolution is to "Stay Awesome" and, quite frankly, its going to remain on my list of major to-do's this coming year. But there is also my new found desire to be a bit more tame of tongue. That is, swear less and say less vulgar things at inappropriate times. You can only tell your best, uptight Catholic friend's mother about your wing-wang so many times at dinner before, well... You see where this is going.

But just two nights ago I was at the local grocery store in my hometown when my last resolution hit me like a sack of sacks. Now, here in Harvard, NE, when you play a rock song with a band at a high school music concert, people remember it. So I'm checking out (buying bottle after bottle after bottle of Dr. Pepper) and this older gentleman approaches me and this conversation follows:
Him: "You play guitar, right?"
ME: Thinking about the times in high school I played guitar in front of basically the entire town. "Yeah, I've been known to."
At this point I'm getting proud and awaiting praise.
Him: "How do you do [insert about nine guitar-based questions, coming from an old man who doesn't know the first thing about playing guitar]?"
ME: "...uh"

I'm boastful, which is how I got into this conversation. When I said "Yeah, I've been known to," I carried myself with an air of ... with air-rogance. He saw it, more'n likely, and asked. I'm not the world's greatest guitar player. I'm a great and quick learner, but I'm far better at bass guitar and drums than I am at guitar. So to get out of this I had to think fast and move the topic from guitar lessons to me leaving the store.

So, from this point on, in an effort to reduce the number of people that assume I'm great at things simply because I tell them I am (which, honestly, whose fault is that, anyhow?!), I'm going to stop being so boastful.

And I'm going to be darned good at it, too! Better than anyone else! Just you wait and see!
-Skyler

Episode 5: Home for a Reason (or: Eating a Lot of Christmas Cookies)

2006-12-23T22:57:00.000-08:00

So I'm home, now. Have been for a couple of days. Gotta say, so far it is going well. I only came home two other times this semester, fall and Thanksgiving break. Both were cut short by either work or school. So, as you can imagine... Well, I'll leave the end of that up to your imagination.

I have put a lot of good food into me. Pizza and chocolate (in its many forms) taking top billing this year. Although, in a close second so far is everything-else. And Dr. Pepper tastes great with everything. Steak? Dr. Pepper. Pizza? Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper? More Dr. Pepper.

Later on this break, my brothers and I are going to be putting together some musical numbers, some little jingles so to speak (note that the songs will in no way, shape, or form be "jingles"). They will be great!

I'm also learning that, in life, you have to be sure that each choice you make is the right choice, before you make it. Otherwise, you didn't make a choice, you made a guess. You don't make right or wrong choices, you make good or bad guesses. Maybe I'm wrong with this analysis, though. If so, let me know.

Otherwise, I've got some giant texts to read through. So, MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone!
-Skyler

Episode 4: Rocky Balboa (or: Rocky Balboa is Great)

2006-12-20T22:08:00.000-08:00

Warning! This post may contain spoilers for the new film, "Rocky Balboa."

So, I would say I'm a fan of the Sylvester Stallone "Rocky" franchise. The first two movies by themselves are some of the greatest sports movies ever created (for evidence, the original film was nominated for about two-billion Academy Awards), and the third movie managed to feature Mr. T and not have him be a joke. Four and Five were great, too, but each was different.

Then there's "Rocky Balboa."

This new film, which features an aging Stalone, is breathtaking on many levels. First and foremost, this movie features an aging Stalone who, seriously, looks fantastic for his age (just click on some pictures, here, and you'll see what I mean). I used to think Schwarzenegger looked great in "Terminator 3" a few years back, but whatever Stalone has been doing with himself these past dozen years... it works. I hope to God I look even half as good as I do now in fifteen years, and then Stalone is like... pissing me off with how huge he is.

Then you've got the acting and the characters themselves. Stalone actually shows the same skills that got him a Best Actor nod so many years ago; he actually is Rocky Balboa again, albeit an older, wiser Rock. There is a grace to old-man-Rocky that was only seen in the ring in previous films in the franchise, shown as he deals with the death of (yet another) loved one, his seemingly angst-ridden son, and the reunion (and subsequent blooming friendship) between himself and a minor character from the original film. He plays off all these characters well and in a believable manner.

The rest of the cast is fantastic; Paulie is back and is still Paulie. The rival, Mason "The Line" Dixon is well cast - he needed to be a self-centered, egotistic boxer, so they hired one. Without spoiling parts of the film, Rocky's son and the "minor character from the first film" are wonderful, too, and portray characters that are well developed and easy to identify with.

But if you're worried that this movie is all bark and no bite, fret not; the fight at the end is worth the hour of film you get to enjoy to get to it. The punches in this one look far more real than they did in the previous films, and the foot play is well executed; I'm not a great big fan of the sport, but this fight literally had me gripping the arm rests in my chair while my heart raced. Also, my jaw was dropped with a large, goofy grin cemented on my face. Rest assured, the fight does not disappoint.

But beyond all of this, the real treat of this movie is its story. This isn't the Rocky we've seen in the past, out to avenge the death of his friends, or out to claim a title. No, this Rocky is much, much more. The film explains it well and, again, to avoid spoilers, I won't go into Rocky's motivation to fight at length, but it's evident that Rocky has some issues he has to get out, some unfinished business within himself that needs taking care of, so to speak. And he takes it all out in the ring.

At under two hours, "Rocky Balboa" is worth the price of admission: Great acting, fantastic story, wonderful fight, and a training montage thrown in for good measure. You'll leave the theatre feeling younger (which is an accomplishment in my case, since I'm only 21) and itching for a fight, yourself. With all this and more ("Transformers" preview, anyone?!), there's nothing to NOT like about this picture. Go, see it this holiday season. Then see it again. And then take a friend.

And then your grandmother.
-Skyler

Episode 3: Finals (or: Them things what was kills us...)

2006-12-18T19:21:00.000-08:00

So, every man, woman, and child (talking to you, here, Aaron...) here at Drake is either stressing over or studying for finals. Not me, though. No, me, Skyler Bartels... I'm just wishing they were over. I've stressed about classes this semester, I've worried my pants off (in public, which is not a good idea and gets you a spot on the Security Report) about tests, and worshiped Dark Lords in hopes of getting passing grades.

At this point all I can really do is sit back and let everything happen as it happens.

I have a test in my Comp Sci class coming up tomorrow which should be beyond thrilling. I'm excited for it, because it's going to be a chance for me to show the prof that "yeah, hey... I wasn't the best student this semester, but see? SEE! I cared enough to work my rear-end off (a serious medical problem, and costs quite a penny in hospital bills) to pass this test."

Then Wednesday I have a chit-chat sit-down with my advisor about a script that my older brother and I wrote at the start of the semester. Yeah, a full movie script. We cranked it out in about a week and a half and stayed true to our vision. I can't wait for her to tell me it was trash.

So, as you can see... Nothing to really worry about, anymore. I'll be fine, since I've done all the work I can to prepare for this week. Best to relax and take it easy, because before I know it, I'll be home sipping hot chocolate out of a large mug that has been used to make Root Beer Floats so often that everything that is put in it comes out tasting like Root Beer floats, and I'll be sitting in front of a fire singing carols and tearing into presents on a snowy Christmas morning.

...cept I've got this nasty sonuvagun Psych test that I'm crying about. Right now. Seriously, I can barely see through the tears.

I'm so dead.
-Skyler

And, because it was demanded by... uh, no one?

The Aaron Jaco "weekly" submission:
Name: Aaron W. Jaco.
Rank: Grandmaster, Necromancy
Dancing days are here again, and I’m just fumbling around looking awkward.
Finals aren’t killing us, we’re killing ourselves.
DOPPELGANGER!
Have you ever heard of a band called The Black Keys?
This has been Aaron Jaco, standing in for Skyler Bartels.

Episode 2: The Death of a Great Idea (or: How Good Writing is Killed)

2006-12-14T15:28:00.000-08:00

*Assassin's Creed Spoilers*
I've got a massive bone to pick with Kristen Bell, the lead actress on CW's "Veronica Mars." Now, I'm a fan of the show, but let's get one thing clear: "Ms. Bell? A story is best when told in its entirety, not by skipping to its ending."

Let me explain; There is a video game coming out in the near future called "Assassin's Creed," which has the player taking on the role of an assassin during the Crusades. This game has an aspect of total freedom: You are given a target, and you can take them out whenever, wherever, and however you want. There is no magic, no anachronistic weaponry, nothing. It's a realistic game.

At first glance it looks kind of like the old "Thief" games, with bow and arrow/sword play as the main focus. There was sure to be a great story, but with a game like this, so long as the game play is executed properly, there really doesn't need to be that great of a story, just so long as its there.

I was looking forward to this game, much in the same way that I have looked forward to other games that are similar (Morrowind and Oblivion, for example) in the past. But along comes Kristen Bell to ruin it all.

In a recent interview, Kristen - who lends her voice to the game - let the cat out of the bag:

"It's actually really interesting to me. It's sort of based on the research that's sort of happening now, about the fact that your genes might be able to hold memory. And you could argue semantics and say it's instinct, but how does a baby bird know to eat a worm, as opposed to a cockroach, if its parents don't show it? And it's about this science company trying to, Matrix-style, go into peoples brains and find out an ancestor who used to be an assassin, and sort of locate who that person is."

There's more, but I won't spoil it all here (for purists that might not want to know), but lets say that, if what she said is true, a certain 1/4 of the game might have been spoiled for us, the gamers.

This really upsets me the most, not as a gamer, but as a writer. Someone came up with this idea, this "diving into 'memories' found within genes" to find assassins and other people from the past, and I think its a great idea, when used in this story. You would play a majority of the game knowing you were an assassin during the Crusades, then -WHAM! BAM!- you find out the truth, that its actually in the future.

Here is exactly what upsets me about this; all the hype for this game is about the assassin during the Crusades, all the stealth game play, all the realism and all the fun you'd have with it. What a surprise it would be, if we didn't know any of the information that Kristen Bell revealed, to find out all these science fiction stuff was going to be a part of the plot as well?

This happens more often than this once, though. Throughout recent history, big-name movies, television shows, books, and video games have had their large secrets revealed far too early, ruining events someone came up with.

Now, you could say "Well, I still paid for [insert medium of the media here], so I still enjoyed it!" And while this is true, examine it from the writer's perspective for a moment.

When I come up with a good idea, I usually share it with other people. They agree that its great and they'd like to see it fleshed out. Usually these ideas are short, bare-bones versions of full plots or stories, though, and after I've decided on what my great idea is, I now have to go back and do all the work.

This work includes: Coming up with all the characters, writing dialogue, presenting a believable world, coming up with a step-ladder of plot points to get to my great idea, and coming up with a suitable conclusion. Rest assured, this is tons of work.

After I'm done, I look back at it, relieved. I have presented a fantastic journey to my great idea for my reader to go on, and I can't wait for them to talk to me about it once they are finished. My breathtaking idea, the one that I banked the whole story on, will be read eventually, but first the reader must trudge through set up, back story, subplots, and, eventually, a point where they wouldn't expect my great idea to happen. Then it does.

This moment is key for writers. When you lead the reader (or viewer, depending on what you're writing for) and then betray all that they thought they knew about the world you created, or you destroy that world, or you complete that world with but a single plot point... If you can go against their preconceived ideas of what the "great idea that spawned the story" were, you have suceeded.

Tying this back to "Assassin's Creed," when Kristen Bell or anyone else reveals such a huge twist, it destroys all the hard work done by the writer(s) that had to struggle to fill in all the pages of plot and spoken words in a heartbeat. Sure, all that material is there, but now its just in the way of their great idea, not the buildup, the lead-into. By the time the player would get to the "great idea," the previous work would be meaningless. Chances are, they've been waiting the entire game to get to that "great idea" and, now that they're there... so what? All that will be remembered will be that moment, because the player was anticipating it too much. If they hadn't know, every great moment that preceded it would have left a much better mark upon their memories of the game. Now, just filler.

People like Kristen Bell need to learn when to keep their mouths shut, and she can join Kirsten "I'll reveal that the Spider-Man 3 bad guys are Sandman and Venom MONTHS before I should" Dunst in a room for lame spoilers and we can lock the door.

Just saying,
-Skyler

Episode 1: The Pre-emptive Strike (or: Hello, I'm Skyler)

2006-12-11T12:26:00.000-08:00

Another day another dollar, here at Drake University. I'm just sitting here, down in the lower regions of Carnage at Drake's Computer Help Desk, waiting for my shift to end, and I figured now was as good a time as any to check in with the folks that read this here blog.

How was my weekend, you ask? Well, non-existent second-person that asked me that question, I'll tell you.

My weekend started out like any other weekend, leaving my job at Toys R Us. It wasn't that I hated it, there were just some complications involved which forced my hand, so to speak.

Otherwise, most of my weekend involved concerts, study-groups, homework, trips to Wal Mart (for only 30 minutes, this time... not that long, based on my average), and wishing finals were over.

Speaking of finals, this semester has really kicked me in the rump, I tells ya. Mostly, I'll admit, it was my own fault, but it happened nonetheless, and now I've got to kick IT in the rump just to survive the rest of the semester. So far, so good, though, as I'm really pushing forward in the two classes that need the most work. My only hope, at this point, is that I can just keep my other three classes in tip-top shape, so's I don't have to repeat anything or drop out of college. Which would stink on entirely brand new levels of stinking. Trust me, I've done the research.

Otherwise, this week looks to be fine, a few group presentations and that's it from me. Otherwise, just attend classes and study-study-goof off. Er, I mean... study. Yes, yes... no one will be the wiser.

If you're ever looking for a good time, though (or a bad time, or are so bored you're willing to subject yourself to immense auditory punishment paired with good ol' fashioned headaches [just like mom used to make]), and would like to say "Hello" to a man who is, as his friends put it "a living legend in his own mind", stop by and see me at Spikes, approximately every night at approximately 10:30. Aaron Jaco and myself will usually be talking about nothing until our sides split.

And then we are forced to sew them back together with thread woven out of our broken dreams...
-Skyler