Episode 28: A Very Skyler Christmas (or: Guitarnament)

Expect a post here about the Guitar Hero 2 tournament, as well as some pictures!

Oh boy!



[ETA: 9PMish]

Episode 27: Why I Hate Cars (or: YAWN!)

So, I'm back from another rousing Spring Break. What lessons have I learned?

1.) Eating that many brownies, that much cake, that many M&Ms, drinking that much soda, etc... It works well when you're a high school student version of Skyler Bartels. But when you're not - when you're the new and "improved" college version of Skyler Bartels - it turns out that all that food is a recipe for dying.
Lesson Learned: I ain't 16 anymore.

2.) College friends are fun to make gross or lewd jokes around, so long as they are cool with it (and mostly when they aren't so cool with it). Watching movies, reading stories for class, etc. becomes far more entertaining when you and your buddy are making perverse jokes. College friends are cool for this. And only college friends.
Lesson Learned: My mother doesn't find those jokes that funny.

3.) Staying up late and playing video games until 4-5am every day, then waking up somewhere between noon and 1 in the afternoon is awesome. Its even more awesome when you're playing awesome games. It's even more awesome when no one tries to stop you. It's the most awesome when you aren't missing anything as a direct result of your poor sleeping pattern.
Lesson Learned: This doesn't work AT ALL in college.

4.) My younger brother has a constant joke where he says he "hates me" and we all laugh about it. Then sometimes he will come up and smack me across the back of the head or insult me in front of everyone, or both. Everyone finds it funny. But when the tables turn and I try to pick on him or call him names in front of my mother, I am instantly the bad guy.
Lesson Learned: I still love tormenting my younger brother, no matter the consequences.

5.) Over Thanksgiving break last semester my car died. Recently my power steering went out. Now the heat/AC isn't working all the time (mostly just blows out hot air, as discussed before). So I decided to drive another vehicle back to school. About two hours down the road, the battery seemingly falls apart and I sit on the road waiting for a tow truck.
Lesson Learned: The movie "Cars" is way more fun than the real thing.

So, that's that. I'm really tired and have to go to work now. So, see you fine folks again sometime down the line.

Keep it real,
-Skyler

Episode 26: Spring Break (or: Spring Break)

So, I'm on Spring Break. That's right, me. Skyler Bartels. Spring Break. What's that mean? I'll tell you.

BROWNIES

It means lots and lots of BROWNIES. So many BROWNIES your head would spin off your shoulders and fly about the room. That's a lot of BROWNIES and also kind of embarrassing.

I've been spending break catching up on some homework, getting ready for a nasty huge paper to turn in next week, getting my Acct stuff taken care of (finally) and then readin' and readin' and readin' some more. Fantastic!

But don't think for a moment that I've forgotten about my little Guitar Hero II contest when I get back! Because I have, and I don't want you thinking about it. Thinking about it means you'll remember it, then maybe talk to me about it. And if you talk to me about it, chances are good you'll ask how the practice is going. And if you ask that, I'll have to tell you I haven't practiced it once all break, and have instead been playing The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion and the Wii Zelda game. And if you give a mouse a cookie, he'll want some milk!

And somewhere in that he needed to shave, if I remember right.

Tomorrow I collect my younger brother who has spent his entire break on a college band tour. Then I spend one more day eating millions of BROWNIES and then I head back for the place I call "home" to end out the year.

All in all, I'd give this break a BROWNIE-out-of-10. Because I like BROWNIES and recurring jokes.

Episode 25: Pain Island II: Return of Pain Island (or: I Hate My Car)

So I had to go to the Art Center on Grand for my art history class and, as I pull out of my parking spot to get out of there and go back to my room to take a nap, I hear this groan and a short, staccato screech. Then my power steering goes out. Fantastical! Let's take a look, now, into the past at all the problems I've had with this car since I've got it:
-car was purchased without an antenna
-CD player was installed, proceeded to short out my front speakers
-front speakers were fixed, but got fried within three months
-tires go flat faster than is possible
-air conditioning sometimes just blows hot air. as if the vents are connected to Hell itself
-engine overheats, blows up
-power steering goes out
TOTAL: $A BILLION
...and this is all within about two years.

To top off my wonderful day, I missed the chance to see 300 again (yes, it'd be worth it) and to make matters worse, my personal computer's processor is overheating like mad, so I am not even about to use it right now.

But, yesterday had some good moments, too. The best was, of course, watching LOST on ABC. Another great episode. I also got some - very brief - nap time. Which was amazing.

Now, all I have to do is pay a $700THOUSAND dollar car repair bill (note: remove the THOUSAND) and I can go home for Spring Break.

That's right. You heard me. Skyler's crazy Spring Break plans for this year are to go home, eat a bunch of brownies, and sleep and sleep and sleep'n'sleep.

AAAAWWWWW YEAH

Episode 24: 300 (or: Buh-BUH-BUM! Buh-BUH-BUM!)

So I went home this weekend and that was good and great, then I did a lot of my laundry and played some Guitar Hero II and Nintendo Wii. I also saw 300.

First thing's first... my laundry just finished and I gotta go collect it. Be right with you. . .

. . .

. . .

. . .

Never mind, there is some drying left to be done in there.

Laundry being done is great; when I went to Drake I swore I'd take enough clothes to last me two months, so I could just go home and have my mother do it rather than having to learn how to do it myself (and, subsequently, pay for it). This works well and great until you get so busy you are seriously not even able to plan on going home for two months. Then you're wearing the last-of-the-lasts and that's... not that clean. So, now that I bring boatloads of laundry home with me each trip, my mother thinks that I can do it myself. Which I can, now. Skyler - 1, Mom - 234,043.4 (the .4 is because, while she won, I still got to leave with that $100 bill and the banana).

Next up, Guitar Hero II and Wii; My younger brother is also home this weekend and, while I brought along my GHII to practice some tunes, he decided to take along his Wii for the trip. My dad really enjoys them both, so it has been a constant battle for attention from him. My younger brother simply adores Guitar Hero II, though, as evidenced here:

He's doing fairly well, but not as good as I'm doing. Which, by the way, is very well.

And, last but not least, 300; this movie was awesome. The acting was great, the effects were fantastic... costuming, location, characterization, and best of all, the adaptativeness from the original source material (a Frank Miller graphic novel, the guy that did Sin City) was fantastic. I'd give it an 8 out of 10, easy.

Tomorrow I lose an hour and drive back to Drake so I can kick it's education in the ass.

Wish me luck or, better yet, millions of dollars overnight so I don't have to continue going to school.

Episode 23: Not Dead (or: Who Be Do Be Do)

March.

First off, let me assure you that I am far from dead. I'm a terrible blogger, always have been; most of my life I've blogged on one site so frequently (sometimes six times a day [hey, I was a depressed minor of questionable intellect with poor taste in music as a high schooler]) that eventually my ability to post anything of value went out the window with my youth, my faith in mankind, the money in my checking account, my ability to keep a pan full of brownies down, my faith in WOMANkind, etc. All that blog is, these days, is an incoherent ramble of nonsensical trains of thought, so worthless that I'll only link to it once, in exactly 45 days. Let's just say that it's neither funny nor does it make any sense.

But I'm coming back in a big way! With less important stuff that's so important, it'll make your brain fall out your ears.

Let's get rolling:

1.) This past weekend we had a lot of snow. This should in no way be news to any of you Drake students unless you were living in cave all weekend. Which I did. That's right, yours truly (hint: Me) blacked out his windows with black trash bags and watched every episode of LOST on DVD in a row over the course of four days/nights. It was awesome and also very fun. There is a reason I believe that to be the best show in television in years. That reason is because I'm right.

2.) Guitar Hero II tournament is coming up faster and faster, which means all this NOT-playing I'm doing is really gonna kill me come time to showcase my mad fret skills. All this time I'm going to spend practicing on a fake plastic guitar, you'd think I'd have some desire to pick my REAL guitar up again and learn how to play. Or, if you're me, you wouldn't think that at all.

3.) Going home this weekend (apparently) which is totally going to shoot my plans of seeing 300 on Friday out the window. But that's cool, because I missed my mother's birthday this past weekend on account of all the snow. So now I'm going home this weekend. But that's going to shoot my plans of seeing 300... Oh wait, I already said that. Why did I leave it in here, then? I could have just deleted it. I've done this joke before, too. It wasn't funny any of those other times. Why oh why am I still doing this? Shut up, Skyler! SHUT UP! They'll think we're unstable... Oh God, oh Jesus... oh oh oh... I can hear the ocean! Oh my... OH MY! I SMELL THE...!

D.) Making the plans to visit the Moon. We're going with Marmalade Mary and Dusty Limon, the Man of a Million Millions. Taking the magic-car to the movies, too. Going to see Fantasma de LeOpera in Hoop Dreams. Magitacularism!

Wednesday) Gotta eat the marbles!

Blue Wonder Power Milk) 3448284-29587590-12984659-1840-15986 = The code, Chaaaaarrrrlieeeeee!

4
Itchy
Tasty