Episode 15: Dreams Lost (or: Cussin' up a Storm)

So, as another page is turned in the great "Book of Life" (actually a rather crummy read; poor character development, lack of a solid plot, terrible dialogue, bad jokes that go on too long, etc.) and my New Year's Resolution is over. No, I'm still going to be awesome... that will never change. Of course, I'm speaking of my cutting back from swearing and vulgarity.

As mentioned before, my humor was driven solely on my ability to be as crude as possible. I had removed this from my... repertoire, as it were, and there was a hole. A hole filled... with me being a huge jerk.

That's right, instead of being gross and using naughty words, I would just insult everyone around me and basically be the biggest tool I've ever been. This came to a head one night when I realized I was just being loud so I could be mean, not just for the sake of being loud (as is my favorite past-time, anymore). This simply would not do.

So, along with adding a minor and starting to write for the Times Delphic (more on that after something I write actually ends up in a paper), this semester sees another amazing first for me: Willingly failing at something that, if I'd just worked on it a little bit? Would probably work out just fine in the end.

Oh, wait. That's not a first. That's pretty much the title of my future autobiography:

"It Would Have been Fine if I'd Just Tried Harder"

The Skyler Bartels Story

Episode 14: Tum-Tum Troubles (or: Uggh)

So, that last post was completed with one goal in mind: To create the most trite and full-of-itself narrative I've ever produced.

I cleaned out my car and found about 90+ CD cases. It was awkward trying to remember when I'd purchased them each and, to my memory, I don't even remember having ever listened to at least a few of them...

Speaking of having been outside, it... is.. cold. I've been in these parts my entire 21 years of life and I still am not used to it getting cold and, frankly, I hate the entire thing.

This is a short episode for 2 reasons:
1) Bored
2) Lazy

Expect something tomorrow so I can type it up instead of do my acct homework. Adios!
-Skyler

Episode 13: Adrift (or: The Waves of Change)

I came to the realization this evening that I am in a pivotal moment of change. With a new minor, new ventures on the horizon in terms of academia, extra-curricular activities, and possible career goals, life itself has never been so open and yet so closed at the same time for me.

If time is like a river that flows and flows... and we are adrift in said river, than life itself is the ship we sail. And all rivers eventually end at the ocean. The saddest fact about this journey is that neither ship nor sailor will ever reach the ocean, for the vast sea... she is the unattainable... she is enlightenment. But if we strive in our perilous quest for our glorious end result, we can make it close.

We can plan our course as best as we can, but change can move us in strange directions, and the waves of change are hitting me harder than before. In one mindset, they are steering me off course. But in another mindset altogether, one could see it as divine intervention, with the waves crashing against me and pushing me into a new branch of the river that I didn't even know was there, full of new sights to see and wonders to behold.

Life is a mystery, though. She moves and she moves... And yet she moves not by our control, but by that of an unseen captain, a hand guiding our vessel downstream with no worry about the treacherous waters before us. All we can do is watch and pray... Pray that the captain knows best.

I am not a God-fearing of even God-believing-in man, by any account, but to say there is nothing guiding my ship but me instills far too much fear in me. I do not want that kind of control over everything, that much responsibility. And really, when one thinks about it, how much control does any of us have over the occurrences and experiences of our own lives?

I know not where this journey will lead, but I am aware of my own excitement toward discovery. Someday soon I will look back on where I've been and realize that paths taken were never as scary as I had perceived oh so many weeks and months and years ago.

A life is a small amount of time we are given, and it's end is rarely in our control. But if the right choices are made, and at the right time, then even factoring in the grand mystery of it all and one's complete inability to have any say in it's flow, we shall at least remain confident that we provided our captain with a proper direction, for if we are not the captain of our vessel, then surely we are its compass.

North or South, East or West... we must guide ourselves as best we can down time's eternal river, until either sea or death claims us.

Episode 12: Many Things (or: Milky Way in the Shower)

So, as it turns out, after a not-going-to-be-here-next-year scare, I will remain here and finish out my four-year Drake education with a minor in marketing, not a major. This is for two reasons: The first is that I want to be out of here in that four-year time period. The second is that the major is a lot of work.


I am currently trying very hard to catch up to everything that's been going on in the marketing world that I've missed. Turns out? I've missed a lot.


I'm also trying really hard to get really good at Guitar Hero again. I used to be decent, back in my Toys-R-Us days, but as of late I have started to really stink up the joint. Only recently have I been able to get 5-Stars on some of the early songs on Hard. I dread Psychobilly Freak-Out.


Yesterday my good friend Aaron and I stood outside a Best Buy early in the morning to secure my younger brother's Nintendo Wii. On Thursday, I will be driving said Wii to him and then watching him play Zelda until the wii hours of the day. Yes, that was a bad pun.


I am going to start writing for the TD, maybe. That'll be... interesting...ish?


Otherwise, this post was probably far less wonderful than I had previously advertised. Tomorrow I might make a post about how my brain is plotting to overthrow... ITSELF! Until then, carry on!
-Skyler

Episode 10: Drake - Chapter VII (or: The Redeadening)

I'm a Back-to-School fool. What does this mean? It means that I'm not only ready for another awesome semester at the school I call home (Drake, by the way...), but I'm also ready to get invested in a second major:

Marketing

Turns out, it might be hard to get through the entire major in 3 semesters. As one would imagine, the ability to burn through it is an immense, looming challenge. But for the first time in... ... ... well, ever... I'm excited about schooling.

I've already gotten myself signed up for the major, have meetings with some of the top brass within the dept., and have registered for some of the courses for this semester. Will I maybe have to take some courses this summer at a community college just to get the major taken care of so I can have a 4-year college experience and graduate on time? Probably, but I'm ok with that.

I usually joke around about things, here, and I usually look at everything in a pretty positive light (or, at least... at medium brightness), but I'm actually serious about taking this challenge head-on (apply directly to the forehead) and meeting it at every step and every turn.

Why marketing? I've wanted to go into it since before I started college. There's something about the entire world of marketing that I just find magical and enthralling. I want to be a part of it, and I finally think I've matured enough to do so.

So, tomorrow I am meeting with the marketing folks to determine what steps I need to take (like probably having only marketing/business courses my senior year) and where I need to start.

This wouldn't be such a large task to accomplish if I was switching majors, but I'm still going to be a Writing major, as well, so... double my delightment with the right mint, eh?

I'll probably actually post whatever news I get on the matter here, tomorrow, as well. I like to keep things updated as best as possible.

Keep it real,
-Skyler

Episode 9: Final Weekend (or: Intolerable Subterfuge)

It is amazing how missing one new episode of The Office can ruin a fine gentleman's evening... Ah, what a shame... what a shame.

Oh, hello! I didn't see you there (why did I think this would be funny? Oh, God...).

I'm about 40 minutes away from my final weekend at home before the new semester begins. What will the start of '07 hold for Skyler? Many interesting things (including, but not limited to: a second major, another stupid Spring Break stunt, looking for internships, and building a boat made of dreams to sail the seas of... of... dreams!), but most importantly, what will happen tomorrow and the next day?

Tomorrow my young brother, Zak, returns from his adventures in interterm for the second weekend in a row, bringing with him his massive desktop computer what was taken from my older brother, Pete. We will use his computer, this one, my machine, and Pete's laptop, to play many hours (as in, hours upon hours upon hours) of World of Warcraft, perhaps with longtime family friend, Mr. Justin (who will not be present, but - what with the advent of the Internet...).

We will also watch a few movies (more than likely) and then retire each night exhausted, fulfilled aaaaaaaaaand a bit lonely and scared. But fear not!, dear readers, for your hero Skyler, ever true and valiant as Arthur the King, will not perish!

Instead he'll head back to Drake on Sunday, unpack his stuff, and return to classes next Tuesday with more DVD's to add to his collection, some books, too, and a car that actually works for once. All will be well.

So, once again, I leave you with a cliffhanger, although this time the stakes are higher, the magnitude of suspense... biting! I have no more jokes this time! Just exclamation points! I got too many at the surplus store!!!!!! !!!!!! ...!

Adios!
-Skyler!

Episode 8: The End of a Break (or: How I Wasted my Xmas Break)

Another week down the drain, and what have I got to show for it? Nothing, NOTHING!

Well, ok, so perhaps I'm being a touch dramatic, but who am I to stop people from being dramatic? That's what I thought.

My break is coming to a close, with one final week of freedom from homework and classes and professors and lectures and work study and alarm clocks and cold walks to Howard at 8AM. These are the glory days, when I try to cram as much video game playing, DVD watching, book reading, slacking-off fun-time mega-awesome super-wonder into five or six final days of amazing, explosive adventures the likes of which the tri-city area has never seen before, and will likely ne'er see again.

Of course, having a part-time job during this portion of time is really killer to that idea.

To end my break in style, I'm going to spend as much time post-work hours reading books (I have an Artemis Fowl book I'm still reading through and another fantastic book, The Time Travelers Wife to blaze through), watching DVDs (I just got the second season of the American Office, which - despite what most people think, is actually on par with the British version), and eating cookies, playing board games with friends and family, and getting in nearly three hours of sleep each night. Although this last part will be no different than when I return to Drake. Heh.... heh heh.... hmm...

So, until I see you again, rest assured that I'm pretty much the laziest person in the world, and I'm also pretty cool. I don't know why I found the need to tell you these facts, however, as I'm sure both of these facts (if not just the second "I'm also pretty cool" fact) are well known to you by now.

Skyler, out!

PS: My resolution is still doing well. I'm really getting a feel for this non-swearing, less-vulgar business. I can't wait to see how I do with it at Drake in a few weeks.

Episode 7: The Adventures of Ethics in Tactland (or: Me n' my Morals)

So, we come at last to another year of complaints and embarrassments, defeats and forfeits, withdrawals and upsetting news.

Yes indeed, I'm talking about my (in)ability to stay true to my new year's resolution!

As stated previously, my major resolution each year is to remain in the state of "Awesome" that I am in 9/10ths of the time. But this year - oh boy! this year - I'm going all out with a grand plan that is...

NOT BEING VULGAR OR CRASS

For the past number of years I have made an effort to being far more unsettling in public, more rude, crude, and full of 'tude... oh, sweet man alive did I just say "full of 'tude?" And then leave it in this post? And then write about my disbelief as if I were having a conversation, or saying this out loud?

Anyhow, this was all in an attempt to do two things;
1) Become far more funny. This is only, of course, because of
2) A need to emulate both popular culture and the vocabulary/general practice of my peers.

Since this has become so ingrained in me, however, I have become finding it increasingly difficult to not be crude at times, which seriously upsets some people (mostly my parents) because they don't generally like to hear such words and/or thoughts.

But the main reason I'm going forth with this is not to appease these people, but simply because there is absolutely no need for this kind of "mindset+vocabulary=dirty thoughts 24/7" mentality. I used to live under the illusion that these things were "just words" and all that rot, and they are. But its the meaning put behind them. While I don't really mean it when I say "I'da ****** her up the ***," someone overhearing it, or someone of high moral values (i.e. anyone from the Catholic church) might think otherwise and put me in a pit and stone me until I die.

So, in an effort to appease people around me and in an attempt to better myself, I am doing away with vulgarity as best I can. So far I am doing pretty poorly, but I'm learning fast. The problem is catching myself before I say something. Today, at work, I had to stop myself from saying "I kicked 'im right in the *** (<-- this is "ass," by the way, making the *'s totally pointless)!" to my manager while telling a story.

Instead, at the last possible second (and while holding the word "the" for an incredibly awkward length of time), I replaced the swear with "rear-end!" This of course met with questioning looks, but those that understood what had happened knew what was up.

So, if in the near future you chat with me and you notice long pauses between words, words being dropped, or me yelling at myself because I said a "dirty" word, understand that its all for the benefit of pointlessly bettering myself.

Happy New Year.